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I'm 11. Julie, welcome to the program. Hi, Dr. Laura. Thanks for taking my call. My pleasure. I am newly married. We have an eight month old. My husband and I just moved to basically in the middle of where both of our families are.

And we are having a family get together on a weekend and a few weekends. And I had a little.

Confrontation, I guess, over text with my paternal grandma. She and her husband are unable to make it, which is fine.

But please don't add, which is fine because if we're fine, we wouldn't be on the phone. So let's dump the it's fine. It's never fine. These things are never fine.

So paternal grandparents can't make it and.

And so instead of that weekend, they want to come up this upcoming weekend.

And oh, I see they couldn't make it on that particular weekend.

Correct. Correct. So they want they want to see their great grandson this weekend.

And so my grandmother texted me and said, is it okay if we come for a visit this weekend? And I told her that we cannot do it this weekend because we are working on home renovations.

And we're busy. But they.

Okay. But in the next few upcoming, so let's go and get together.

And so she came back to me, which I wasn't expecting and said that she's very sad and very hurt and that it's uncalled for.

And so I think that that at her and my grandfather's ages, they might not be here when it works for them or when it works for me and that they've been so good to us and they sat.

They can't even start short visit and that it doesn't make sense that they can't come this weekend.

So I replied that I did not expect that this would be such an unreasonable and sad reaction.

I thought that it was just I thought that it was appropriate that we're busy this weekend and that we'd be happy to have them up in the next few weeks.

And she told me that her hope was that they aren't get that they're close family so that they can come whenever they like.

Oh, this is not the first time you've had trouble. Anybody who says that I have priority over you and anybody else in the world. I dominate.

You know, leave it. Say, well, here are the dates that are good for us. Let us know if you can make it. That's it. Don't debate it anymore. I think what you answered was perfect.

Don't justify one more time. Let her manipulate her brains out and give her the one or two weekends you're willing to have them come, which I think would be none.

But if you'd like them to come, don't do it at a guilt. If at this point you're really put off and you're planning this other, I mean, if it's that important to them.

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