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I'm Brian, I'm Brian, I'm 1-11. Jane, welcome to the program. Hi, Dr. Ler. Um, Hi, so my question is, um, is so my husband, um, he, his private personality is to be self centered. Unfortunately, and so what I'm finding now with my 17, how much, how much fun was that when you were dating?

Um, yeah, I'm trying, there were, yeah, you know what, he put on a really, a really good show. There was one whole year before our engagement that we, we didn't fight at all.

And then, and then he proposed, but we had had harder times before that particular year, the year before.

So, yeah, yeah, he's, I don't know how else to explain, but that that's definitely been been a pattern and, and there's other stressors in his life right now.

When you say self centered, what does gackley do that mean? What does that mean that he does or says?

Okay, so, so basically so if he wants to take one of our kids out somewhere, even something, you know, somewhere fun, but if that child doesn't want to or has homework or it doesn't really work for that child at that, at that time.

That it kind of works out that they go anyway, they go anyway.

And how does he, how does he, how does he make that happen?

Um, so I would say, probably some manipulation, some powdering, what does that mean manipulation? I need to know how he makes that happen.

He gives him five bucks, you know, something concrete. Yeah, well, yeah, that's so yeah, he would say like he could say, um, oh, well, we'll go, you know, after we go to loads, we'll go, we'll go get ice cream.

You know, he just try to make it more fun for them. He tries to.

Okay, let's back up.

He wants to take one of the kids to do his own errand. Yeah, yeah, and the kid may not want to do an errand because for kids, that's not fun.

Is that what we're talking about?

Um, well, then can I have a yes or no because this is the only way I get to understand what's happening.

I'm asking a kid to go do an adult errand and then offering something that the kid would like after the errand is that correct.

Yeah.

Okay, I think that's good parenting. I think kids are very self-centered by nature.

And they need to do things with their parents like go out and get stuff at loads or the grocery.

First kids don't want to do that. They're they are very self-centered. So you have this backwards, which is interesting.

Okay, I hear you saying, can I tell you what happened recently though? That seems more on the self-centered side and not the good parenting side.

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