Welcome back to the Ask Pastor John podcast. Today we finish up our 2015 conference for

pastors here in Minneapolis. The conference festivities this morning will be streamed

online and you can go to desiringgod.org forward slash live for the schedule of events and

to find the video stream. On the podcast today we're joined again by a man who once ventured

into a Minneapolis winter for one of our pastors conference and who vowed to never do it

again. Matt Chandler, the lead pastor at the village church, he joins us by phone from

the warmth of Dallas. Matt is the author of the new book The Mingling of Souls. God's

designed for love, marriage, sex, and redemption. And we're working through 10 questions on relationships

and we're moving on to question number five. Matt, this is a very common question from

single men that we get. If I'm not physically attracted to a godly woman, should I still

try to romantically pursue her in order to cultivate those feelings if so for how long until

it becomes unwise or even hurtful? Yeah, I don't I don't encourage a young man to pursue

a godly woman romantically that he doesn't he doesn't feel he's physically attracted to

this time. But what I do adamantly encourage young single men to do is to pursue godly women

for friendships in the hopes that it does grow into more. And so there are in fact I did

a wedding this past year of one of the guys that kind of spent time at my house and had been

around Lauren and I at time and just really saw this young woman at our church that they

were so faithful to serve the Lord and such a godly woman. But he just that physical piece

wasn't there but he loved hanging out with her loved and so men I just encouraged him,

hey man, just stay in proximity grow in your friendship and let's hope that that something

grows from there. And so I wouldn't want him for her sake to just go hey I'm going to romantically

pursue you in the hopes that one day I am physically attracted to you because I just believe I

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