Everybody always asks why in this relationship are you has it changed you what is it beyond his looks or his accolades that make me so attracted to this relationship and working for it like actually working for it like changing myself growing it's the

love is in front.

What's up love is in friends and welcome to the lovers and friends podcast my name is shampoo German I'm a sexologist who's been working as a public figure educator for 15 years.

I've talked about sex and relationships everywhere from the view to playboy and from YouTube to Netflix this right here is my first podcast by bring everything together combining my educational background in psychology

sexology and journalism to deep dive into all things intimacy which I define as anything under the umbrella of sex relationships and attachment.

We start with a question by the end not only will you lead with some answers you'll also lead with a hell of a lot to talk about with your own lovers and friends so today we are tackling the question should you change who you are in order to keep the

lover that you want to be with. If a man came into your life wouldn't you want to compromise stupid. A man comes into my life and I have to compromise I fall in love with myself and I want someone to share it with me.

I want someone to share with me.

Today's guest is the Emmy award winning producer and host Jeannie Mai and she's going to talk about how her marriage to young GZ transformed her in ways that didn't just surprise her.

It also shocked the globe because it's not even just a change a life change it's a brand change yeah right there's a lot and your brand is you.

Yeah my brand is me and my brand has always been I'm me and I don't happen to want to have children so yes it was.

And the nerves were still there and still are.

But before we get deeper into that interview I just want to spend some time with you and I really chewing on that question because I think you probably heard that one or two different ways so again I'm going to rewind the question I asked you was should you change who you are in order to keep the

lover that you want to be with but I'm going to guess you either heard me say a should I try to be someone that I'm not through lying denying and falsifying my truth so that I can play the role of someone that someone else thinks is worthy of

love and acceptance in essence do I reject the real me so that the fake one gets chose no I don't think that I don't think it's healthy that if someone truly loves you they shouldn't even

be in the position to change if you start playing a part to keep someone you can only play that part for so long there was a time in my marriage where I took on my husband's personality his coping mechanisms and how he does life and so I found myself after eight months of

this identity crisis I lost myself I struggled mentally I was depressed I didn't want to even be with him anymore because I did not love him the way I loved him when I first met him from my own being from the way I am

or be you might have heard the question a little something like this do I allow a worthy romantic partner to challenge me teach me and push me to channel my potential in essence do I use someone else's love life experiences and their achievements to propel my self development faster

arguably more effectively than I could on my own the idea of changing lifestyle changing religious practices even moving forward with a different trajectory on my career

to be able to sustain this relationship I think in fact is actually reflected more so to my higher self a good love makes you love yourself better and I can see a much more ambitious future for myself now he came into my life and I was like he's simply not going to go for it so you're either going to step up to the plate and you're going to make some changes or you're going to lose him so I made some changes and consequently a lot of my relationships are in my you know other areas of my life are doing better as a result my son says I'm going to do better

doing better as a result my son says that I am a more calm person because of it so I believe changes good you embrace it or just because we're friends I'm going to give you secret option C because maybe like me you heard both of those

questions literally at the exact same time which I'll explain what I mean by that with two short stories all right so the year is 2015 and my most recent X and I were at

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