She Got Dick Zoomed

Distorted View Daily

Tim Henson

Comedy Fiction, Society & Culture, Relationships, Personal Journals, Improv, Fiction, Comedy

4.8 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 15 August 2022

⏱️ 50 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Show Notes: Introduction 0:00.708 My Yard Is Out To Kill Me 1:46.148 Father Upset With His Daughter’s Lesbian Haircut 8:08.890 Dollar General Dhar Mann Is Back With More Life Lessons 14:21.874 Airport Meltdown 22:32.988 Sign Up For The Sideshow 26:20.154 Politician Swallowed A Bee 28:05.669 Prank Calling The Police A Lot. A LOT 32:08.675 Sarah Palin Got Dick Zoomed 35:42.815 Voicemails: 206-666-4463 / Ending 38:35.125 206-666-4463 (206-66-OH GOD) Have Your Voicemail Played On The Show E-mail: [email protected] – Say hi, suggest […]

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Hey, Franks, it's Monday, August 15th, 2022, coming up on the program today.
0:04.8	You gave my four-year-old daughter a lesbian haircut.
0:07.9	Plus, I was attacked by bees and almost lost a leg to a lawnmower.
0:12.3	Sarah Palin got dick-soomed, and we follow a pervert picking up a dumb child at Walmart.
0:17.7	All this was your voicemails, ta-da!
0:19.7	Today's episode of Distorted View, Taley, is brought to you by this weekend's starving
0:27.3	artist sale.
0:28.6	Saturday and Sunday at the Cleveland Expo Center.
0:31.7	Boats, big fucking yachts, seascapes, oceans, lighthouses, these are just some of the shitty
0:39.7	paintings you'll find at the Cleveland Expo Center this weekend.
0:43.8	Seagulls flying high towards a glowing orange sun, $20, a sailboat on a calm summer night,
0:51.2	$20, a lakeside cabin, $20, big paintings to cover up holes in your walls.
0:58.6	Little paintings to decorate a never-used guest bedroom.
1:02.2	No name artist tried to scribe together rent money, make them an offer, chew them down
1:07.5	to $10.
1:08.5	They'll even hang the paintings in your house.
1:12.4	These are very desperate people who made a very poor career choice.
1:16.7	Their bad life decisions are your ticket to mediocre artwork, cheap, come check out
1:22.0	the assholes who watch once you've many episodes of Bob Ross's The Joy of Painting this
1:26.3	weekend at the Cleveland Expo Center.
1:32.8	The vagina is full of ace.
1:35.9	A lot of hot liquid poo just went out all at once.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Tim Henson, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Tim Henson and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.