Sharon Hodde Miller on why nice can be dangerous, women in the ministry, and identifying our strengths.

The Alli Worthington Show

Alli Worthington

Health & Fitness, Self-improvement, Education, Society & Culture

4.8 • 634 Ratings

🗓️ 2 September 2019

⏱️ 62 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, I am joined by one of my kindest and most brilliant friends Sharon Hodde Miller to talk about why "nice" can be dangerous. We'll also talk about women in ministry and what it looks like to have someone call out your gifts and strengths. In this episode we discuss: 1.The differences between kindness, harshness, and niceness 2.How to do a heart check for your motivations 3. How to respond to and love others well Favorite quotes: 1. It’s really important that when you see a gift in somebody, it doesn’t matter if it is a gift of teaching or preaching or any gift in them because that is how they discern what God created them to do. 2. If you are merely being nice and someone is not nice to you in return then that flips really quickly. It flips into entitlement, flips into resentment, bitterness, cynicism but kindness understands this isn’t to get a response. This isn’t about me. This is about loving people radically and unconditionally the way that Jesus loved us. 3. Niceness can appear to be about others but it’s ultimately about us where kindness is ultimately about others. Christ models this better than anyone else. In this episode I answer these questions: 1. I learn so much about the importance of self-talk in Fierce Faith. I loved the whole book and it literally changed my life. There’s one thing I still need more help with. I can’t seem to break the habit of negative self-talk. Do you have any advice? (49:14) 2. Sometimes I feel like I can hear God very clearly and sometimes I don’t feel like I can hear Him at all. I panic when I can’t hear from Him and I wonder if its because He’s upset with me, is this normal? (53:30) 3. I keep bumping up against struggles in my business. How do I know if its a sign to stop? (57:45) Links to great things we discussed: 1. Sharon Hodde Miller , Instagram 2. Nice https://sheworships.com/nice-book/ 3. Thomas Newman 4. Avengers 5. Alia Joy Glorious Weakness 6. Michelle Obama 7. This Cultural Moment 8. FABFITFUN Use code ALLI to save $10.00 9. Blissdom Conference Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli www.alliworthington.com/podcast/sharonhoddemiller

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, hey, this is Allie and welcome to the Allie Worthington show.
0:06.7	It's where we gather, learn, share our stories, and have a great time.
0:10.8	Every week I'll be chatting with a friend who I know, who I like and I respect,
0:15.4	and I want to learn something from.
0:17.3	And after we have that discussion, we are going to have coaching time.
0:20.2	So I'm going to be
0:20.8	answering your questions about life, about faith, and about business.
0:26.6	Welcome to the show. I am continuing my summer of my favorite women. And today I'm with the
0:31.7	brilliant Sharon Hottie Miller, who is one of the smartest and kindest women I know. And we're
0:37.3	going to talk about a surprising topic, the dangers of being nice.
0:41.7	I think for most of us as women, we grew up being told that we should be nice.
0:46.9	But Sharon gives a bit of the dark side of being nice.
0:50.6	And it's such a fascinating discussion.
0:53.8	I love having this show because personally for me,
0:58.5	I get to dive in with friends on topics that they have spent two years often studying.
1:04.8	And I can go, okay, what about this and what about that? And let's dive into this. It's so fun.
1:09.1	I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. Sharon and I, we also
1:12.9	talk about calling. We talk about being encouraged in our gifts. She makes some things kind of come to
1:18.4	life for me that I hadn't connected the dots with before. This is a fun one. I know you're going to
1:23.1	love it. And after we talk with Sharon, I'm sharing the best of coaching sessions through the end of the
1:28.1	year while I finish writing the manuscript for my new book. I'm trying to buckle down and actually
1:32.3	get it done. So the live question this week is she said, I learned so much about the importance
	...

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