Welcome to Nobody Told Me. I'm Jan Black.

And I'm Laura Owens. On this episode, we take a look at the challenges you face if you're single and dating these days.

We're joined by certified sex educator and relationship expert Shan Boudram, who's been called

one of the most trusted voices in the sex, love, and dating space for the past 10 years.

And Shan's new book is called The Game of Desire, Five Surprising Secrets to Dating

with Dominance and Getting What You Want. The book promises to teach you the self and social

awareness to make dating your new favorite hobby. Shan, thank you so much for joining us.

Thank you for having me. And thank you for a very memorable welcome.

Oh, great. Well, you say that we live in a world where dissatisfaction and disenchantment with dating

aren't just normal.

They're expected.

And I so feel you on that.

But why is it?

Yeah, I think that dates back to the fact that we're just told to walk the law.

One of the biggest massive education flaws that I see is that we don't teach people

how to make connections.

And that starts from when you're, you know, seven years old.

What do you do when your best friend moves away?

Like, how are you going to emotionally handle that loss?

What do you do when you can't find someone to sit with at school?

Like, the basic emotional intelligence is not taught

from us from a young age. And so the notion of connecting of socialization is really just left up

...