"Shame Around Masturbation Ruins Your Sex Life"

Sex With Emily

Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.3 • 6.8K Ratings

🗓️ 3 February 2026

⏱️ 36 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Solo sex is one of the most powerful tools you have for better partnered sex — and most people are barely scratching the surface. In this throwback episode, Dr. Emily makes the case for why your relationship with yourself might be the most important sexual relationship you'll ever have. From finding out what actually turns you on to using masturbation as a way to manage stress and boost confidence, Emily covers everything you need to know about flying solo — including how to bring toys into the mix without awkwardness. She also takes listener calls about navigating different libidos in relationships, dealing with performance anxiety, and figuring out how to ask for what you want in bed. In this episode, you'll learn: • Why masturbation is essential for sexual self-awareness — not just a fallback when you're single • How to explore fantasies and toys on your own so you can communicate better with partners • The connection between solo pleasure, stress relief, and overall sexual confidence More Dr. Emily: • Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and more — designed to support your pleasure and confidence. Free shipping on orders $99+ (some exclusions apply). • Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. • Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Reach out to enrollment@sexwithemily.com to learn more! • Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. • The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure • Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website • Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube • Let’s text: Sign up here • Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular. Timestamps: 0:00 - Introduction 1:30 - Why Masturbation Matters (Even If You Have a Partner) 3:05 - The G-Spot Myth: Why It's Really a "G-Area" 4:50 - First-Time Masturbation Guide for Women 8:17 - Choosing Your First Vibrator: What to Know 10:54 - Can You "Retrain" Your Body to Orgasm Without a Vibrator? 14:00 - Edging Explained: How to Intensify Your Orgasms 17:38 - Overcoming Shame and Religious Guilt Around Self-Pleasure 24:01 - The We-Vibe Melt: Why It's a Game-Changer 30:40 - Rapid Fire: Mismatched Libidos, BDSM, and Confidence Tips Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	There are health benefits to masturbating.
0:05.8	It releases sexual tension.
0:07.8	It reduces your stress.
0:09.6	It can help you sleep better.
0:11.0	It improves your self-esteem and your body image.
0:13.7	I mean, once you learn how to give yourself an orgasm and what feels good, you look at a mirror, all the things, you're going to realize, like, body's pretty amazing.
0:22.3	You're listening to Sex with Emily.
0:24.9	I'm Dr. Emily, and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation
0:30.4	around sex.
0:31.8	It's the season of love.
0:33.8	Self-love.
0:34.6	That's right, this Valentine's Day, I've got all your singles covered. In today's
0:38.8	best of episode, you'll learn the health benefits of self-pleasure and now it helps you not only
0:44.2	reduce stress, but elevate your mood. It's also a gateway to understanding your body,
0:49.2	boosting your self-esteem, and giving you some serious pleasure. I also answer your questions
0:53.9	about how to try
0:54.8	masturbation when you never have, which sex toys to use, and also the magic of mutual
1:00.1	masturbation. It's honestly one of my favorite tips. I get into the tricky relationship between
1:05.6	shame and fantasy and discuss how often you should masturbate in a relationship, which is probably more than you
1:11.6	think. Please, please rate and review sex with Emily wherever you listen to the show. It helps
1:16.9	more people find the show so they can have better sex just like you. All right, everyone,
1:22.0	enjoy this episode. You know that moment when things are getting really good and then your brain goes, wait, what about the mess?
	...

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