Shame and Suppression | The Silent Struggle of Men

Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.4 • 978 Ratings

🗓️ 30 September 2025

⏱️ 63 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Few struggles cut as deep in marriage as mismatched desire. When one partner feels perpetually rejected and the other feels endlessly pressured, resentment builds. In this NEW episode, hosted by Rhonda Farr, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife draws from Chapter 3 of her book That We Might Have Joy to unpack how repression drives obsession, why intimacy is so difficult to tolerate, and how agency and integrity can open the way to real communion in marriage. JOIN US FOR THE ART OF LOVING RETREAT! Order That We Might Have Joy HERE!

Transcript

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0:00.0	It's not about trying to change your partner, but it is naming what is honest and real from your side of the street.
0:08.1	It's intimate, but not manipulative or controlling.
0:12.1	We're letting go of the idea, I'm going to get you to be the right person.
0:16.2	We're revealing who we are.
0:18.1	And that's a powerful thing to do.
0:20.2	You know, when we're busy manipulating,
0:21.7	we're inviting our spouses defensiveness, guard, self-justification. When we're intimate, when we're
0:28.1	honest, when we're forthright about who we are and even what we desire, we're inviting a different
0:33.4	energy. It doesn't guarantee anything, but it's much more powerful.
0:45.4	Music energy. It doesn't guarantee anything, but it's much more powerful. Welcome to Conversations with Dr. Jennifer, a collection of interviews on the topics of
0:50.8	relationships, sexuality, spirituality, and more, all featuring Dr. Finlayson-Fife.
1:01.5	Hi, everybody. Welcome back to the podcast. We have a fan favorite, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife,
1:07.5	and we are actually introducing her new book. So I am super excited to talk all about that
1:14.3	and just some of the wisdom and the I golden nuggets that are going to resonate with my listeners
1:20.3	in particular because you touch on so many points. I'm like, at this point, it's no surprise to you,
1:26.2	but it's like you're in their heads. You speak to so many things that I'm like, at this point, it's no surprise to you, but it's like you're in their heads.
1:34.8	You speak to so many things that I hear all the time, so I'm thrilled. But first, could you please introduce anything you want to about yourself? Most of my listeners know you at this point,
1:41.1	but maybe also introduce any upcoming offerings that you have that they may be interested in.
1:45.5	Sure. So I'm Jennifer Finlayson Fife and I'm a marriage therapist and primarily doing coaching at this point.
1:52.6	I have a PhD in counseling psychology. I have focused my work on LDS couples around how to forge deeper intimate marriages, both emotional and sexual intimacy
2:05.2	and how to have more happiness, more joy, more freedom in our marriages.
2:10.5	So, yeah, I just wrote a book that we might have joy that we'll be talking about today,
	...

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