I'm Miranda Sawyer and I'm hosting the brand new podcast, Papercuts.

From the mail's obsession with woke, to the daily stars wore on pigeons,

to all the things the Guardian is telling you not to enjoy,

Papercuts digs into the private mania of the UK press.

And what that tells us about Britain today.

I'm joined by some of the UK's sharpest commentators and funniest comedians

to pick out the most eye-popping stories the morning press has to offer

and serve them up for your incredulity and entertainment.

Papercuts, we read the papers so you don't have to.

Out now, wherever you get your podcasts or visit papercutsshow.com.

Hey, it's Lucas.

And I'm Jacob.

Yeah, brother for her podcast.

What up, Poes, this is a spooky episode.

So get ready to get startled.

Ah, there is a guy right next to me and I don't know why,

but I won't munch in it for the rest of the podcast.

Oh my god, you're fucking scary.

And also if you guys have been listening this for a while,

you know that it's sort of like you're listening in on our conversation

when you listen to these.

And like our phone conversation because we're not actually together in real life.

...