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The Allender Center Podcast

Sexual Brokenness and Healing, Part Three

The Allender Center Podcast

The Allender Center

Psychology, Religion & Spirituality, Mental Health, Christianity, Trauma, Health & Fitness, Theology

4.6628 Ratings

🗓️ 12 October 2018

⏱️ 22 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Dan Allender and Jay Stringer conclude their conversation about sexual brokenness, the need for integrity and community in healing, and Jay’s new book Unwanted.

Transcript

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0:00.0

You're listening to the Allender Center podcast with Dr. Dan Allender.

0:12.5

This week, Dan and Jay Stringer conclude their conversation about sexual brokenness,

0:17.4

the need for integrity and community in healing, and Jay's new book, Unwanted.

0:36.7

Well, I've had the pleasure for the last two weeks to interact with a dear friend Jay Stringer and his new book Unwanted.

0:46.8

Jay, we're going to talk a bit about what is involved in our hearts changing.

0:59.6

But I do want to at least give this caveat. And that is,

1:07.4

I don't think anybody can in 20 minutes feel, well, maybe you feel, but should give kind of a comprehensive overview. So what I'd rather you do is capture for us two or three of the

1:15.5

most important things our listener readers can engage, even today, tomorrow, next week, next month,

1:24.8

in the beginnings of this journey, what's going to be required if they want

1:29.2

to see significant change with regard to unwanted?

1:33.8

Yes.

1:34.6

One of the first things I would say is curiosity.

1:37.6

And this is something that Allender Center talks about quite a bit, where it's like, when God approaches

1:44.1

Hagar, God says, the angel of the

1:47.2

Lord says, where do you come from and where are you going? So when God approaches Adam, it's not,

1:52.5

hey, Adam, stop hiding. It's not Jacob. What's your name? Like, get your name right. It's,

1:57.7

Adam, where are you? Um, Jacob, you seem to have forgotten your name. So the

2:04.0

pursuit of God in our lives is full of inquiry. And so one of the things that I really invite

2:10.3

my clients to is to listen to their lust. And so basically what that is all about is to write down what are the

2:20.8

core fantasies that have been with you for decades. And one of the examples that I use of this is to

2:28.6

kind of think of your life as a house. And so you're all in those moments where you're in your bed and your living room and then you get a familiar knock. And let's just call that knock lust. In the past, you may have tried to shoot the intruder. You may have tried to kind of phone a friend for backup. But part of what I encourage my clients to is to go out literally on the front porch of that

2:51.4

house and to acknowledge that lust and fantasy are there.

...

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