Sex and Money: The "When, What, and How" Rules for Having These DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS

Dear Young Married Couple

Adam & Karissa King

Sexuality, Christianity, Religion & Spirituality, Society & Culture, Relationships, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 872 Ratings

🗓️ 14 July 2020

⏱️ 25 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Sex and Money - two topics of conversation that often get you to shut down or heat up (maybe in more ways than one?). If you're going to bring up a conversation that you think could cause some more-than-normal tension, trigger unpacked emotions, or even some pain, it's important to let your spouse know that you're going to throw the ball. If you don't give them the heads-up, you might hit them in the back of the head, causing further negative emotion, pain, and tension around the topic next time it gets brought up.⁠ Here are some ways to give your spouse a heads-up:⁠ "Babe, I need to unpack a pretty big conversation box with you that has to with our sex life. I want to make sure we're both in a good mental space for it. Would tomorrow during the kids' nap time be a good time for us to discuss a few needs that we both have about our intimacy?"⁠ "I know we both want to win with money and we each have some ideas to put on the table for how to best do that. Do you think we could both do some research between now and Saturday on retirement investment options and then we could work toward a decision together on Saturday after breakfast?"⁠ "Babe, I have an important need to share with you about our spending. Is now a good time to chat?"⁠ "Hey Babe - when in the next week or so would be a good time for us to have a check-in about how often we have sex? I know today's probably not the best day and I'd like for us both to have time to think about it before we check-in."⁠ P.S. If you call your spouse something other than Babe, that works too. 😆 More about these conversation stems in today's episode. Here is the link to our upcoming LIVE virtual marriage retreat: https://event.webinarjam.com/register/1/n6075a7 Stay in conversation with us on IG: @dearyoungmarriedcouple or on our website: www.dearyoungmarriedcouple.com P.S. Here are the links to the marriage card decks we talk about in the episode: FOUNDATIONS: https://amzn.to/2RaXF7g SEXPECTATIONS: https://amzn.to/2GbVMRA REALIZATIONS: https://amzn.to/3brNTWh Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:23.3	like you sign up for your one dollar a month trial at shopify dot com slash promo welcome to the dear
0:31.3	young married couple podcast today we are talking about sex and money the the when, what, and how rules for having these difficult conversations.
0:41.5	Yes.
0:42.0	So it's technically not an ask episode.
0:45.3	However, this episode was inspired by a couple of...
0:48.3	A ask.
0:49.1	Yeah, a couple of questions that we received from some DMs.
0:53.3	So we thought we'd start off by reading one of them.
0:56.6	So this person said, I've really enjoyed your podcasts and website content very much. Thank you for
1:01.5	what you share. Do you have scripts or conversation starters for beginning potentially tough
1:06.0	conversations with a spouse? I would like to discuss finances, working hours, and a tendency for resentment on my
1:12.4	part with my husband, but want to do so in a constructive way. I tend to overreact my husband's
1:17.4	reactions, perceived or real, and that sometimes stops me from moving discussions forward.
1:22.6	Thank you for any guidance you can offer. And then we also had a question last week, I think, that it was a similar question, but specifically
1:32.1	about sex.
1:33.8	And they said, it was a husband saying, I really want to have some deep conversations with
1:38.9	my wife about our sex life, but I don't know how.
1:42.8	We also received a DM from someone else asking a very similar question.
1:48.3	And his question was along the lines of like, I want to have a deep, difficult conversation
	...

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