Setting a Boundary vs. Trying to Control Someone

Therapy in a Nutshell

Therapy in a Nutshell -Emma McAdam

Mental Health, Education, Health & Fitness:mental Health, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 658 Ratings

🗓️ 30 January 2025

⏱️ 13 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Learn the skills to Regulate your Emotions, join the membership: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/membership Learning how to set boundaries is an important part of mental health and relationships. One of the biggest problems I see people have when they’re learning to set boundaries is learning the difference between setting a boundary and trying to control someone. And I found this ridiculous video that shows some great examples of the difference. Now this video is a little intense, and i’m not saying that either of these guys are setting a good example of how to set boundaries, but when you analyze it you can clearly see the difference between a power struggle and a boundary. Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.therapyinanutshell.com Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger Institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction. And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services. Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome back to another episode of the Therapy in a nutshell podcast. I'm Emma McAdam and I'm a licensed
0:07.6	marriage and family therapist. And this podcast is all about taking the life-changing, but usually kind of
0:13.5	complicated topics of therapy and boiling them down into simple, easy to understand concepts that you can use in your daily life.
0:20.8	If you find today's episode as helpful to you, please pass it on to someone else who could benefit It's a simple, easy to understand concepts that you can use in your daily life.
0:24.5	If you find today's episode is helpful to you, please pass it on to someone else who could benefit from it as well.
0:25.9	Each podcast episode comes from a corresponding video you can find on the Therapy in a
0:30.0	nutshell YouTube channel.
0:31.3	Also, these podcasts are educational and don't replace the advice or direction you may be
0:35.7	receiving from a therapist or other health
0:37.5	professionals. Now please enjoy the episode. One of the biggest problems I see when someone is
0:43.9	learning to set boundaries is learning the difference between setting a boundary and trying to
0:48.6	control someone. And I found a ridiculous video that shows some great examples of the difference.
0:55.0	Now, this video is a little intense, and I'm not saying that either of these guys are setting a good example of how to set boundaries.
1:01.5	But when you analyze it, you can clearly see difference between a power struggle and a boundary.
1:07.2	Okay, so let's watch this helmet cam video. It's about 57 seconds. I'm gonna bleep the profanity.
1:12.6	Call the cops on you, you understand? What? You ride that motorcycle in that park one more time and I'm calling the police on you. Do you understand me? This is where kids play. This is not a track for motorcycles. Kids are at school.
1:23.6	They're not.
1:24.6	I just picked mine up.
1:25.6	Oh.
1:26.6	And this is not a place where you ride motorcycles.
1:28.6	It's a park.
1:29.6	You don't got to...
	...

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