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Therapy in a Nutshell

Hate Affirmations? How to Improve your Self-Esteem Anyway

Therapy in a Nutshell

Therapy in a Nutshell -Emma McAdam

Mental Health, Education, Health & Fitness:mental Health, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness

4.8658 Ratings

🗓️ 23 January 2025

⏱️ 18 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Learn the skills to Regulate your Emotions, join the membership: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/membership Today, we’re going to talk about what you can do to improve your self-esteem even if you hate positive affirmations. For me, and for many of my clients, it never works to just replace the negative self-talk with positive affirmations. The first step is to question all of this negative self-talk. Instead of trying to say something super duper positive, shift to more neutral language. OK, #3, let’s get clear on the person you want to be so you can know if you’re building up a good, purposeful life. 4. Pay attention to the small wins And you’re going to pay attention to small wins, when you make a tiny bit of improvement or make a good choice- you are going to celebrate that. And I don’t mean just thinking a nice thought about what you did. Make it strong! Say it out loud and write it down, tell other people. By using these four steps, you can improve your self esteem, even if you hate positive affirmations. Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.therapyinanutshell.com Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books  Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger Institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction. And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services. Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome back to another episode of the Therapy in a nutshell podcast. I'm Emma McAdam and I'm a licensed

0:07.6

marriage and family therapist. And this podcast is all about taking the life-changing, but usually

0:13.0

kind of complicated topics of therapy and boiling them down into simple, easy to understand concepts

0:18.9

that you can use in your daily life. If you find today's

0:21.7

episode is helpful to you, please pass it on to someone else who could benefit from it as well.

0:25.9

Each podcast episode comes from a corresponding video you can find on the Therapy in a Nutschele

0:30.3

YouTube channel. Also, these podcasts are educational and don't replace the advice or direction

0:35.1

you may be receiving from a therapist or other health

0:37.5

professions. Now please, enjoy the episode.

0:41.0

I used to always be super critical of myself, and I hated positive affirmations. I couldn't

0:47.0

buy them. They just sounded fake and stupid. Honestly, they made me feel worse. Now, other stuff

0:52.3

did help me be kinder to myself and build up my self-esteem,

0:55.7

but I just never liked positive affirmations. Now, that has changed for me now. Like, now I actually

1:00.3

like them. But I, like, know so many people who feel the same way, and a ton of my clients also

1:05.8

have felt the same way. They hate positive affirmations. So today, we're going to talk about

1:09.6

what you can do to improve your self-esteem, even if you hate positive affirmations. So today, we're going to talk about what you can do to improve your

1:11.1

self-esteem, even if you hate positive affirmations. Okay, so for those of you who follow me,

1:19.9

you know that I like to climb. And last summer, for my friend's 40th birthday, I went climbing

1:23.9

with my favorite people. We've been climbing together for like 14 years. And somehow

1:27.7

during that time, I got older. And I had four kids inside of me who are now outside of me.

1:33.3

So we go to the crag and I hop on a route that I used to do and I flail. I cannot even get up the

1:40.4

start. And the negative self-talk begins. I'm so old. I'm so weak. I'm so bad. This route is so hard.

...

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