Playing ball, baby.

I shit my pants this weekend.

Oh shit, man.

That's a good way to start this off, huh? It is. I mean, I'm curious for this story. Can I guess that it had something to do? Was it a timing thing? Like, if you had a little extra time, could you have made it? That's a timing thing. Does anybody ever shit their pants otherwise? I mean, yeah, I think so. Maybe like you lose, I don't know, the ability to know when you need to take a show.

I mean, there are I think so. Maybe like you lose, I don't know, the ability

to know when you need to take a shit. I mean, there are medical reasons for just shitting your pants for no reason. Did I magically fast forward to 98 years old, Leo? My asshole is still tight and springing. It's still tight tight, tight. Yeah. All right. Good, good. I'm glad to hear it. I guess you could say, If you got horrendous food poisoning, it could come out of nowhere.

Yeah, just like you fart and then, yeah.

When I was skateboarding around Lake Tahoe once on a family vacation, I did like a fucking heel flip after eating del taco and the next thing I knew my pants were green. It came out of nowhere. But also, I imagine if you're a gay guy, you're in a bathhouse or something going in it out of your butt. There could be some poop.

It wasn't a timing thing.

I think so. Like, you got pounded especially hard by a certain man. You know, something, you know, it might be a little. Why do we have to go for racial humor right off the bat here, Leo? I know. I'm sorry. Is it because of our guest today? And I was thinking, yes, it is.

Of course I'm thinking about that. Yes, their black cock is on the mind right now.

I'm surprised you haven't mentioned black cock yet. We have Scotty chickens coming in at 1 p.m. Mm-hmm. He has a big large fallas. The shitting story. It was an odd time for one to shit their pants. 7 a.m. I wake up with my girlfriend. My girlfriend's over, which makes this whole thing so much more

hazardous. Drinking the night before? No. Okay. I went out with actually Jesse from Nelk and a couple of his

friends and his girlfriend and my girlfriend, Mia, and we went out to Barney's Beanery in Westwood.

Okay. It was a good time. I was, so I was drinking Coca-Cola's.

Okay.

When I'm not drinking alcohol, something's got to give. Of course. I'm either shoveling gummy bears into my face or I'm drinking Coca-Cola. Sugary soda, yeah. Or I'm masturbating to crucifixion porn. There's something as the gift. We wake up. I go for a run because Mia is having fucking nightmares the night before.

She got up at 1 a.m. and was texting the glow as the gift. We wake up. I go for a run because Mia is having fucking nightmares the night

before. She got up at 1 a.m. and was texting in the glow fucking woke me up. Whenever she

readjusted, she was elbowing the bed. So basically I got like three hours of sleep, even though

I'd been between the sheets from 10 p.m. all the way to seven. I felt very unrested. I was like,

I need to get my energy out so I can fall asleep easy in a night and make up for this last sleep. I'm running around the neighborhood. I'm listening to the Smiths. All right there, Santa Barbara? No, here. Oh, here. This is right. I'm pointing at my bedroom right here. All right. And this bathroom that's five feet away for my right shoulder is going to play a big part in this. Oh, God. So you take a jog. I'm going jog. And I'm crop dust in the whole time. But I think I'm just a big windbag. It just feels like all air. Maybe something you ate the night before, you know, maybe the Coca-Cola's. Maybe all the Coca-Cola's. I i think so i get to the point of no return though somewhere around

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