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As It Occurs To Me

Series 3, Episode 4

As It Occurs To Me

Comedy.co.uk

Christian, To, Occurs, As, Dan, Herring, Richard, Reilly, Kennedy, Me, Tetsell, It, Aiotm, Emma, Comedy

4.61.3K Ratings

🗓️ 6 June 2011

⏱️ 60 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

It's Season 3, Episode 4 of AIOTM (aiotm) and Rich and his forearm are regretting allowing the audience to make decisions about what is moral and what is not. He has been working hard on his punishment and is just hoping there is a 14-17 year-old boy who will be prepared to take the fruits (or seeds) of his labour. Dan, Christian and Emma are all lending a hand and together they have created one of the most horrendous comedy props in the whole of history. This show might actually break some laws. And if it doesn't then one of the weirdos in the audience definitely has. Rich had been trying to impress his girlfriend's parents and is coping with the stress of getting into the exclusive after show area at the Jerry Seinfeld gig on Friday. Emma has taken out a superinjunction on herself, Dan has been licking things in public and Christian has been recognised in a toilet in Ipswich. Perhaps foolishly there is another Moral Maze with even more dire consequences for Rich, Pippa Middleton's Disembodied Anus, and the return of an old favourite up to his old duplicity. Christian is up in arms about Britain's Got Talent, but not the stuff that's bothering anyone else. Plus there's the first real screw up of the 26 episodes we've done so far and we don't edit so we've just got to deal with it. Seriously, it is the 21st Century. WARNING: if you download this show you might end up on a register.

Transcript

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0:00.0

As it curse to me, as it curse to me, as it curse to me

0:07.0

and please welcome the man, it's all occurred to Richard Harry!

0:14.0

Thank you very much,

0:19.0

tell you, I've been expectorating into the prisoner of Windsor's print pots and they'll never know.

0:27.0

Hello and welcome to yet another episode of the internet stand-up and sketch show that all the Canadian baby sex secret keepers are calling E. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A It's the sketch show that's written in eight hours rehearsed once and then just done in front of an audience, which is still more work than it's put into any of Ben Elton's novels.

0:50.0

But new listeners, this is not the place to start, really with this episode.

0:55.0

You will get a wrong view of what this.

0:57.0

It's a very sophisticated show, so please start from the beginning, download them all,

1:01.0

they're all up there, and then wait till you get to this

1:03.7

beautiful moment of Series 3, Show 4.

1:08.3

Because this is promised to be literally the most self-indulgent episode of the show in every way.

1:14.0

Yes, due to last week's punishment during the unpopular feature

1:16.9

the Morrill Maze, I pledge that if the audience voted

1:19.8

my bin-pawn antics immoral, I would masturbate over every page of a pawn mag and then give

1:26.2

it to a 14 to 17 year old member of our audience.

1:29.8

Unfortunately the audience did vote me immoral this is out. It's not my choice. I'm an old man my supplies of love porridge are scarce at best and very slow to replenish. It's not like it used to be.

1:42.0

The hustler-porn mag that I've purchased is of such a soft

1:45.6

nature that it provides my jaded libido with actual negative sexual excitement.

1:51.8

So I've spent the whole of last week trying to fulfil my punishment.

1:55.0

I'm only up to page six so far so I'm still working it.

1:59.0

That's right I am wanking as I say this

2:02.0

But luckily I'm not alone in a strange and perverted

...

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