I'm Sam Waterston of the popular TV series Law and Order.

As a senior citizen, you're probably aware of the threat robots pose.

Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel.

Well, now there's a company that offers coverage against the unfortunate event of a robot attack.

Old glory insurance. Old glory will cover you with no health check up or age consideration.

You need to feel safe, and that's harder and harder to do nowadays because robots may strike at any time.

And when they grab you with those metal claws, you can't break free,

because they're made of metal and robots are strong.

So don't cower under your afghan any longer. Make a choice.

Old glory insurance. For when the metal ones decide to come for you.

T-B-T-L

Here's what's coming for you right now.

It's a Monday afternoon edition of T-B-T-L, the show that's probably too beautiful to live.

My great grandfather did not travel across 4,000 miles of the Atlantic Ocean to see this country

overrun by immigrants. He did it because he killed a man back in Ireland.

My name is Luke Perbank. I am your host. This is episode

652 in a collector's series. And it's shaping up to be a good one, actually.

That man you just heard Mr. Stephen Colbert. He showed up at Congress last week

to sort of plead the case for migrant farm workers.

He did it in a hilarious and memorable fashion, which is not what they wanted apparently.

At least certain people who were there and he's in all kinds of trouble.

We'll talk about that. Play you some of the tape.

...