SelfWork 160: The Sexless Marriage. Is There A Way Back?
The SelfWork Podcast
Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD
4.8 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 3 January 2020
⏱️ 24 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Welcome to 2020 and more SelfWork!
First, thank you to everyone who’s purchased Perfectly Hidden Depression and left reviews. Those show up on Amazon as a verified purchase and are extremely important offering even more validity. So if you’ve been reading PHD, and when you’re done, two sentences on what you experienced would be extremely gratifying.
Today we’re talking about the lack of sexual intimacy that so many couples are experiencing; in fact, research shows that 15 to 20% of committed relationships or marriages had become rarely if ever sexual. We’ll touch on ten of the most common reasons I've seen; some are probably familiar, some may be painful to hear, but some may surprise you.
The listener email today is from a man who’s befriended someone with chronic abuse in her past (with a diagnosis of C-PTSD) and asked me for advice on how he can help.
Important links:
In the US, the sexual abuse hotline number for the US
Dr. Pat Love's Hot Monogamy
Research study on pornography addiction
HuffPost article on the sexless marriage
You can hear more about relationships and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is self-work and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford. |
| 0:13.0 | At self-work we'll discuss psychological and emotional issues common in today's world |
| 0:19.0 | and what to do about them. |
| 0:20.0 | I'm Dr. Margaret and self-work is a podcast dedicated to you taking just a few minutes today for your own self-work. |
| 0:29.0 | Hello and welcome to 2020 and welcome back to self-work. |
| 0:34.3 | I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford, a clinical psychologist out of Fayetteville, Arkansas, |
| 0:38.2 | and actually I've been on a little bit of a hiatus |
| 0:40.2 | the last couple of weeks, so I'm delighted to be back with you. |
| 0:44.0 | Before we get started I want to thank everyone who's been reading perfectly hidden |
| 0:48.6 | depression my new book and who's left reviews on Amazon. They show up as a verified purchase and are extremely |
| 0:55.1 | important reviews and actually give the book a lot of validity. So if you're reading and you've |
| 1:01.0 | learned something from it, I'd love for you to leave a review on |
| 1:04.4 | Amazon just two sentences that would be extremely gratifying and of course those |
| 1:09.8 | reviews on iTunes for self-work are obviously appreciated. I want to share with you that today |
| 1:16.4 | we reached 1 million downloads and that's just downloads. So you're in great company and I'm very honored that you're here. |
| 1:25.0 | To get 2020 started we're going to be talking about a lack of sexual |
| 1:29.5 | intimacy or the sexless marriage that so many couples are dealing with. |
| 1:34.3 | There are scads of reasons why this happens, and the research I looked at estimated that 15 to 20 percent |
| 1:41.0 | of committed relationships or marriages had become rarely, if ever, sexual. |
| 1:46.4 | Now I won't cover them all, but will touch on 10 of the most common ones I've seen in my 27 |
| 1:52.3 | years of practice as a therapist. Some are probably |
| 1:55.1 | familiar. Some might be painful because they describe your own situation, but |
... |
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