And hello to you and welcome to this Friday bonus top-up episode.

Just a little five-minute pause to offer yourself something today that many of us forget to give.

Self-compassion.

Not just being nice to yourself when things go well, that part's easy, but being gentle when things go wrong.

That's where the work is. We're often told to be kind, to forgive, to listen. And we do, for others. For our friends, our partners, our kids will say, don't worry, you're only human, you did your best. But when we mess up ourselves, that same kindness often goes straight out of the window.

And what shows up instead is things like, you're useless.

You always do this. What's wrong with you?

And we need to recognise when that happens, that that voice, that's not truth.

That's your inner critic, allowed, unfiltered, and often completely unfair part of you.

So if you're prone to this, when it happens, stop for a moment, take a breath and remind yourself, I'm doing the best I can with what I've got.

Because in these moments, you are doing your best.

If you weren't, you'd have done better, wouldn't you?

Maybe at another time you could have done better.

A younger you, an older, wiser you, a less tired and emotional you. But if you screw something up because you weren't at your best,

you still did the best you could at the time. So it's okay to remind yourself of that. I'm doing

the best I can with what I've got.

If you're listening to and understanding this, it's likely you're human. And humans fail.

We all make mistakes. Recognising that everyone fails, everyone struggles, and you're not alone,

is really important. And it sounds simple,

doesn't it? But if it's so simple, why so often do we avoid it? Why does self-compassion feel

wrong to us? Well, one reason, might be, your upbringing. You've got to remember that the beliefs we develop when we're young really do stick around.

You ask any atheist who was brought up Catholic, they still feel guilty over the slightest of things.

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