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Welcome everyone to this episode of Learning How to See.

I'm Brian McLaren.

I'm Carmen Acevedo Butcher.

We're glad you're here.

Thank you. Ossivado Butcher. We're glad you're here. I was in my 40s. It was a stressful time in my life, and I was jogging around a lake.

The way I would distract myself from my angry lungs and tired legs when I was running

was to listen to motivational speakers on an ancient technology called a cassette tape on an even more ancient technology called a walkman.

So I was running around this lake, feeling a lot of stress.

And one of these motivational speakers quoted Abraham Lincoln, who said,

I desire to conduct the affairs of this administration so that if at the end, when I come to lay down the reins of power,

I have lost every other friend on earth.

I shall at least have one friend left, and that friend shall be down inside me."

What happened next, I couldn't have anticipated.

A sob, the only way I can say it, a sob erupted from deep down inside

me. I stopped running. I stooped over, had my hands on my knees, and I suddenly felt a series of

messages coming from deep inside me. Some part of me that I wasn't listening to decided this was the chance for me to start and listen.

The voice said something like this.

Others make mistakes and you tell them don't think twice.

But if I make a mistake, I beat myself up a hundred times.

If one of my staff members looks tired, I tell them, take the day off.

...