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Beyond the Secret

Secret 045: Bad Dating Stories!

Beyond the Secret

Ace Fanning

Society & Culture

51.6K Ratings

🗓️ 15 April 2020

⏱️ 48 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Secret 045:  Bad Dating Stories

Whether online or in person, the world of dating is not for the faint of heart.  From classic catfish scenarios to diarrhea and skid marks, this episode will have you laughing out loud and scrutinizing those dating app profiles a bit more closely.

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey, friendly reminder, this podcast is not for kids, or people who have a stick up there.

0:05.6

Friday 5.58 PM.

0:09.8

I'm sleeping with my best friend's husband.

0:12.1

I think my uncle killed someone in his suicide. I am a sugar baby

0:15.0

I am a sugar baby.

0:17.0

I think my sister is actually my uncle's kid.

0:20.0

My husband's son is actually my uncle's kid.

0:21.0

My husband's son, my sister, and son. us was a kid. What's your

0:25.0

a girl car when I was a woman?

0:28.0

What's your secret?

0:30.0

Explain to me the group on that you were purchasing.

0:37.0

First, when I was going to do a group on, my girlfriend and I were going to go to a concert. So we got a concert ticket and then this thing

0:47.4

popped up it was called a colon hydrotherapy and which I don't know if anybody really knows what that is but it's a colonic

0:55.8

irrigation shooting water in your rectum or your butt hole. So I'm talking to my girlfriend.

1:04.5

I'm like, hey, you want to do this?

1:05.9

She's like, yes, because you know girls,

1:08.9

we tend to have issues with that problem, you know, that area. So we went ahead and we're like, okay, well, her husband finds out and he's like, I want in on this, so he wanted one. So I buy three. Then as the time goes, I'm going to book it and I booked mine and then she all the

1:27.4

sudden said, nope, I can't do it because I will have diarrhea the whole time I'm there. So then you know I make my

1:36.4

appointment I go there. It's you know I pull in this little shopping center. It's this old rundown strip mall and pull up. I think it was the only business that was operating

1:51.0

I walk through the door and kind of it was a little weird feeling there was

1:56.8

knickknacks everywhere there were dog beds on the ground and there's a cat, there's a dog, there's a sofa, and the sofa is like when you'd

2:06.8

have in your living room?

...

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