Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage.

Trash Futures, Australian Rationality Correspondent, Mr. Brenda O'Neill.

Good day.

This week, the chattering classes of this once great nation have been all of a flutter.

Is it about the rabid kangaroos terrorizing our rural yute drivers?

Or the crocodiles tearing people to pieces in North Queensland?

Struth, no.

They are cracking the shits about nothing more than the cryptocurrency crash.

Yes, the pistachio-posadists of Fitzroy

are furious that Sam Bankman-Fried of the FTX crypto exchange has run it into the ground.

So enthused are these drongos to mock a man making money from cryptocurrency,

that they've even stooped to pillorying him for living in a polycule.

Where everyone is on amphetamins all the time.

But is that not the kind of hyper-alert man you want watching the markets?

Did it not work for the Luftwaffe?

These questions remain unanswered.

The Fennell fundamentalists of Footscray

would have you believe that cryptocurrency has no use cases,

but to them I say, have they never tried to buy drugs or child pornography on the dark web?

Indeed, it is nothing more than woke dogma that sets them against the crypto pioneers.

But the business case for crypto will never satisfy the Horissa Hezbollah of Malvin,

who is savaging Mr. Bankman Freed for using the money of FTX customers

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