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Good morning. This is Laura.

Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

Today's tip is to look for context friends.

When people say they want more friends, what they often mean is that they want someone to do X, Y, or Z with.

So figure out what X, Y, or Z is for you, and you will have to do X, Y, or Z with. So figure out what X, Y, or Z is for you, and you will have a far more productive

search. Today's tip comes courtesy of Anna Goldfarb, who is the author of the new book, Modern

Friendship. I recently interviewed her for my Best of Both

World's podcast. I asked her for advice, for people who are feeling lonely, and felt that they

needed more friends. Goldfarb told me that this was the wrong way to frame the question.

When people are feeling lonely, what they

often mean is that they want someone who can do X, that is, fill some specific need. Maybe you

want someone you can go see movies with, or you want someone to run or walk with, maybe you want someone who likes to go to brunch on Saturdays.

Or if you've got little kids and you want someone who's always down for an afternoon playground

trip or who will text silly memes with you at night while you're sitting with your toddler

trying to get the kid to go to bed, well, you need to look for that.

All of these suggest different approaches for looking.

For instance, if you are looking for a friend who likes leisurely Saturday brunches,

even if you personally have kids but your spouse and relatives love taking them all day

Saturday, it might be hard to find other folks with little kids in that situation.

So you might be best off getting close with a colleague

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