This is an I-Heart podcast.

Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of IHeart Radio.

Good morning. This is Laura.

Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

Today's tip is about how to stop wasting time and mental energy, ruminating over useless

feedback.

In other words, how to keep criticism from stinging.

First, I want to say that constructive feedback is a real gift.

Someone can be mean and nasty, but if that person gives you practical suggestions for how to improve something that matters to you, you're best off thanking the person.

You don't have to be friends, but you can be grateful.

That said, not all feedback is constructive.

I was thinking of this recently when I got a letter from a before-breakfast listener who leads a church.

This minister lost a close family member shortly before Christmas.

It was too late to find someone else to lead all the holiday services, so the minister did so,

while deep in grief.

Then she received a note from a parishioner who knew about the death, saying that her holiday

preaching was subpar. Ouch. In this situation, the listener knew that this criticism wasn't

really fair. But as she ruminated about it, she wondered, looking forward, if there was a way to

spend less mental energy worrying about such criticism. I think this is a

good goal, but not just for criticism. We should also spend less mental energy seeking out

unhelpful praise. Over the years, I've had a number of people read my books before publication

to see if they flag issues that I can't see. I always tell them that I love it

...