People of Earth. The following podcast is more not real than a horse kick to the face is not ticklish.

Forgive me for this. My recent performance review said my disinterest in the product was palpable and off-putting.

Who's ready for some hot podcast lightning to be shot into your ears?

Via the battering ram of joy.

You're about to be subjected to so many rich character choices.

You'll barely even notice we've got about as much of a story arc as Cloud Atlas.

Now sit that hot caramel fun pillow down into your chair.

This is exhausting.

And prepare to have your face melted by your white hot enjoyment of this show.

Exclamation points.

I'm gonna, Hello from the Magic Tavern.

A weekly podcast from the magical land of Foon.

I'm your host, Arnie Neacamp.

If you've never listened to the podcast before, this is everything you need to know.

Over 10 and a half years ago, I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago

into the magical, fantastical land of foon.

Luckily, I'm still getting a Wi-Fi signal through the dimensional Rift, and I used that to upload a podcast recorded here in the Tavern, the Ruffled Feather, in McShingleshane Forest, on the outskirts of Hogs Face in the magical land of Foon. And I am joined, as always, by my co-host, Chunt the Talking Badger. Bing-pong. Hey, oh, that was quite a fast Bing-Pong. How you doing, buddy? Oh, do you want me to slow it down? No, I'm just, I guess, maybe I'm just, look, something about me is that I'm always parsing for micro expressions and just subtle ways people are saying, their catchphrases differently. I just noticed that you did a bingong, like a fast bing bing bong, checking on you. And thinking like, oh, no, is he mad at me? Did he say it so fast because he's mad at me? Arnie, I have to admit, I'm mad at you. Oh, shit. I knew it. It's just, I don't know how to put this. Arnie, at this very table, typically I sit where you're currently sitting and you sit over here. Oh. Just feels a little passive aggressive to sit where I sit. Oh. You know, we've never talked about seats, I guess. Sure. But I guess for 10 odd some years, I've always sat right there. So I guess I'm just curious what's going on this morning. Are you okay? Oh, I am.

I guess I'm just a little, I've been working so hard to try to figure out this thing about

trying to find, get earth people here in Foon.

You know, we've made up these T-shirts.

I'm moving to Foon.

Hey, listeners, it's a great holiday season gift for your parents who will have no idea what it means.

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