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Transcript

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0:00.0	People of Earth, the following podcast is not real.
0:08.0	There are no alternate dimensions, no portals to get there, and if there were I certainly
0:12.5	wouldn't tell you about them.
0:14.2	But now we come to the third episode of the fourth season.
0:17.4	If you've only just joined us for the fourth season, this would be our third date, that
0:21.8	all important event where you decide if you're in for life, or about to begin the excruciating
0:26.6	process of deleting your contact information from your partner's devices.
0:30.6	While plotting out every last detail around the moment you fake your own death.
0:34.6	And if it is the latter, my only request is that you take the time to create a fake diary
0:39.2	outlining how you may have angered a mafia kingpin.
0:42.3	Really gone girl it up, don't skimp, but I've gotten ahead of myself.
0:46.8	We've still got 40 to 50 minutes, eight of them worthwhile to convince you to stay.
0:51.0	So sit back and enjoy the show.
1:16.3	Hello from the Magic Tavern.
1:18.5	A weekly podcast from the Magical Land of Foon.
1:21.1	If you've never listened to the podcast before, this is everything you need to know.
1:25.9	Six and a half years ago I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King in Chicago
1:30.5	into the magical, fantastical land of foon.
1:32.9	Luckily, I'm still getting a Wi-Fi signal from the Burger King through the dimensional
1:37.3	rift.
1:38.3	And I used that to upload this podcast, recorded now in the tavern, the strange familiar,
1:44.1	in the village of nibble bottom, at the base of the unnameable mountain in the magical
	...

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