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Transcript

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0:00.0	Let's say you love sports, but are also, you know, a busy person.
0:04.1	You want to know the latest sports news, but don't want to sit through a two-hour podcast.
0:08.8	Alright, if we're talking about you right now, then check out the new podcast from Wondery.
0:12.9	Listen to the lead starting 5 on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.
0:23.9	People of Earth, the following podcast is not real.
0:27.2	I mean, haven't you heard?
0:28.8	Oh, all the big names in podcast listeners are talking about it.
0:32.6	Catch up!
0:33.7	And congratulations on completing another holiday season.
0:37.6	If my exhaustive understanding of Earth culture is correct, in the last two weeks,
0:42.3	each one of you has eaten an entire evergreen tree,
0:45.6	swaddled a miraculous newborn baby in shiny wrapping paper,
0:49.6	and sent it to the frozen top of your planet to be sealed inside a falling disco ball.
0:55.1	I find the whole thing charming.
0:57.2	And now you're giving yourself the reward of another episode of this.
1:01.8	And who am I to stand in the way of such an adorbs little masochism spiral?
1:06.6	So sit back and enjoy the show.
1:31.8	Hello from the Magic Tavern.
1:34.0	A weekly podcast from the Magical Land of Foon.
1:36.7	I'm your host Arnie Neacamp.
1:38.4	If you've never listened to the podcast before, this is everything you need to know.
1:42.2	Six and three fourths years ago, I fell through a dimensional portal behind a Burger King
	...

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