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Transcript

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0:00.0	Greetings new listeners, the podcast you are about to experience is not real.
0:09.4	I mention the new listeners because I've learned the only way to impress the old listeners
0:13.7	is by withholding my affection.
0:15.6	Hey, if nagging is your kink, I'm here for it.
0:18.8	And regardless of if you're an exciting new listener, or a listener that's old and boring
0:23.7	and no longer of interest to me, this recording is not to be taken as evidence of the existence
0:28.5	of other worlds.
0:29.9	No one's going to pierce the thin veil of your cozy reality.
0:33.6	Certainly not me.
0:35.0	And who am I?
0:36.0	I'm the owner of a magnificent mysterious candy factory that once a year allows five
0:41.2	children to, okay, that's a lie.
0:43.3	It doesn't matter who I am.
0:44.8	I'm like the force.
0:46.3	The more you explain it, the more you're like, I miss when I didn't understand this
0:50.6	quite so much.
0:51.6	Now, sit back and enjoy the show.
1:20.5	I'm going to have a great show.
1:27.5	Yes, well, I splendid.
1:36.4	Thank you.
1:37.4	Thank you for the help.
1:38.4	Tell us if we have a bow and hand it to him at the park more.
	...

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