People of Earth, the following podcast is not entertaining.

Whoa, not real.

Not real is what I meant to say.

Hey, subconscious, keep it down back there.

Now, audience, I've been sneaking out of this empty except for Trisha government facility

and wandering around wintertime Chicago.

And let me just say, if you're going to form the silhouette of an angel in the snow,

then you don't freak out when I update it to reflect what angels actually look like.

Because if you're not going to include the antlers and the six foot proboscis with a hand

at the end, then that's not an angel.

This message is especially for the kids, and I know how much of our audience is five and

under.

That sweet demographic that hasn't quite gotten the hang of story structure.

But enough interesting content, let's get to what you've been waiting for.

Or rather what you've come to realize you can't put off any longer.

Sit back and enjoy the show.

Hello from the Magic Tavern, a weekly podcast from the magical land of fune.

I'm your host, Arnie Neekamp.

You've never listened to the podcast.

This is everything you need to know.

About five years and 11 months ago, I fell through a dimensional portal behind a burger

king in Chicago into the magical, fantastical land of fune.

...