Radiard Fun runs a funeral home in the village of Piffling Vale.

It used to be the only one. It isn't anymore. Eric Chapman is here to stay and so is his funeral home.

For the first time in his life, Rudyard has arrived, if only he knew what to do about it.

Wooden overcoats created by David K. Barnes, episode two, Flowers for Chapman by Christopher Hogg.

Eric Chapman had been on the island for a week, but for Rudyard it had felt like a century.

Business had slowed to a crawl, whilst Chapman's opening week book one funeral get one free offer had been an enormous success.

At Fun Funerals, Rudyard was beginning to feel the pinch.

Hello, dear. What? You can't do that, so it'll be arranged. Your wife Thursday morning 11 o'clock shop. Don't be late.

Sorry? Yes, I know. He's got a special offer. He said what?

Mr. Sinclair isn't arranging a solar eclipse. He's just booked your funeral on the same day as when I could do that.

The solar eclipse amdebuff, eh? I think you're pushing your luck there. I can't promise anything.

Hello? Mr. Sinclair? Hello?

Chapman.

I took a leak. Come out. You've had a cancellation.

Not another one. Mr. Sinclair will be around tomorrow to get his wife back.

But I've just filled her with embalming fluid. Well, then drain her out again. If Chapman's getting the job, he can do it himself.

I do believe it. We're working ourselves ragged trying to scrape together enough to pay those installments on the new kettle.

And all Eric Chapman has to do is sit across the square on his very attractive backside.

What? I said in his very competitive backside. Yes, quite.

Rudyard's sister Antigony had developed some intensely conflicted feelings towards Eric Chapman,

of the kind more explicitly depicted within certain genres of French cinema, slowly, passionately, and with subtitles.

We can't go on like this, Rudyard. We're not going to.

...