Whenever you look at anyone who's like really performing at the upper echelons of achievement,

you find they have transcended their self momentarily.

They're in this like state of consciousness, an altered state of consciousness,

where all of their defenses and self-critical thoughts and doubts are not holding them back. So when our ego is

fully active, we are actually literally blocking our self-actualization. I'm Jocelyn K. Gly, and this

is Hurry Slowly, a podcast about pacing yourself,

where I explore how you can be more productive, creative, and resilient through the simple act of slowing down.

Slowing down to truly listen to what someone else is saying.

Slowing down to really soak up the wonder of the natural beauty surrounding you.

Slowing down to let another car onto the highway or another person onto the subway in front of you.

There is, it seems to me, a certain humility in slowing down,

just as there's a certain ego associated with speeding up, letting your individualism run away

with you as you press to the front of the line with a me first, me first mentality.

And today we're going to talk about that interplay through the lens of a concept called

the quiet ego and how having a quiet ego leads to a greater sense of well-being,

self-esteem, and a feeling of meaning in your daily life.

My guest is psychologist, writer, and podcaster Scott Barry Kaufman.

I've been following Scott's work for years as his research touches on many of my own obsessions,

how creativity unfolds, what factors contribute to self-actualization, and what makes up a personality?

And is it changeable?

Most recently, Scott co-authored a fascinating study of personality around the so-called light triad qualities.

The field of psychology has long been obsessed with a set of qualities called

...