Schrödinger’s (Expensive) War & Chalamet Backlash
The Trawl
Jemma Forte & Marina Purkiss
4.7 • 867 Ratings
🗓️ 12 March 2026
⏱️ 48 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Oil prices soar, the global economy wobbles, and the media politely wonders whether there might still be a master plan inside Trump's helium-filled skull. Marina and Jemma sift through the chaos: Fox News telling the truth, Russia helping Iran and Trump being OK with that and Trump casually flirting with admitting war crimes.
But first: a brief cultural detour as Timothy Chalamet manages to annoy a surprising number of people, Doja Cat weighs in, Darcy Bussell keeps it classy, and one conductor delivers the most operatic “get in the bin” you’ll ever hear.
Then it’s back to the geopolitics: a war that’s somehow “very complete” and yet “just beginning' and the small matter of what Trump might really be trying to distract everyone from.
Then it's Under-Rated's which includes an incredible clip from the wonderful George Monbiot and a wonderful pudding from Cody Dahler.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Trump claims the US has greatly reduced Iran's defenses if you look at the statistics or as he calls them. |
| 0:06.2 | Statistics, statistics. |
| 0:07.7 | Hello and welcome to the troll, where I promise we do try not to swear unnecessarily, but |
| 0:25.1 | it's hard, I tell you, it is hard. |
| 0:27.9 | Sea bombs seem kind of appropriate when actual bombs are dropping and Bell End simply |
| 0:33.9 | won't do. |
| 0:34.4 | But in the interest of being as inoffensive as possible, this episode may contain |
| 0:39.4 | a lot of lemons, ballards, plus the odd expletive. I'm Marina Perkis. And I'm Gemma Forte, and it's yet |
| 0:46.9 | another three-trawl week because the news cycle is off. It's flipping rocker. And yet, huge sways of the media are still talking about what's |
| 0:57.8 | happening sort of fairly calmly, as if there might be a tiny bit of logic in Trump's empty |
| 1:03.2 | gas-filled head. But then the rest of the media, and indeed politicians, don't talk like we all |
| 1:08.8 | do, which is illustrated very well in this clip by |
| 1:12.0 | Ski Comedy and David Thomas Comedy. This is two politicians in a flat share. |
| 1:18.1 | Great. Well, we've missed Binday. |
| 1:20.7 | I believe the right honourable gentleman was in charge of bin duties this week and his name was on the |
| 1:27.3 | rotor. |
| 1:28.2 | Can he confirm or deny? |
| 1:33.7 | Well, quite frankly, I find it hilarious that the leader of the opposition here talks of bin duty |
| 1:41.5 | when the only thing that comes out of his mouth is rubbish. |
| 1:49.0 | Didn't fancy making the bed then. |
| 1:53.0 | Mr Speaker, the right honourable gentleman talks of making beds |
| 1:58.0 | and yet if he lived for a moment in the real world he would see what's more important is simply getting out of bed and being there for your constituents. |
... |
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