Warning, the following podcast contains profanities used as conjunctions between other profanities.

This week's episode of The Skaving Atheist is brought to you by the new Investing Advice TV show for Judeo Christians.

Mad Shekels with King James Kramer.

Are you an idiot looking for stock tips magically embedded within the text of the Bible?

Are you an idiot looking for stock tips on a TV show?

Are you willing to blindly trust a market analyst who looks like an evil version of Louis CK?

Then let us be your shepherd to the Alpha and the Omega.

Mad Shekels with King James Kramer.

Bibles, Bibles, Cell Bears. It's that simple.

And now The Skaving Atheist.

Hey Noah and Heath, it's your old pal, he's the pigeon.

Remember when we used to get stoned together in Central Park?

Well I finally did that thing, I always said I wanted to do.

I was flying down Fifth Avenue looking for the pizza place where Heath used to get the bloody shits after reading the Italian sausage.

When I saw Donald, my face looks like a leopards-puckard-ass-hole-trap about to get into a limo.

So I squinted and I squeezed real hard like-and let out the warmest, creamiest, most foul little shit of my life.

It landed with an audible plop right on top of his gigantic Neanderthal brow, and Noah, you were right.

No one even noticed.

But who would look twice at a shits' stain even if he had bird excrement on his forehead?

Some people just don't seem to have evolved very far from filthy, thinking monkey men.

But you guys are all right.

Hey, it's Thursday. It's March 12th.

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