SC 71 - How to Deal With The Distancer-Pursuer Dynamic (Part 1)

Relationship School Podcast

Jayson Gaddis

Relationships, Relationshippodcast, Sex, Relationshipadvice, Society & Culture, Jaysongaddispodcast, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.6 • 981 Ratings

🗓️ 28 September 2016

⏱️ 37 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

One of the most common issues in a partnership is the distancer/pursuer dynamic. What is going on here and how do you deal with a partner who needs a lot or one who is distancing. In the first of our two part series, Ellen and I help the pursuers (connectors) understand and deal with your distancing partner.

SHOWNOTES

What is the pursuer/distancer dynamic? [10:30]
What’s going on with the distancer when they are asking for time and space? [12:30]
What 2 things do you need to balance when dealing with someone who is distancing. [17:30]
The single focus trap that pursuers can fall into. [21:30]
How time agreements can make re-connecting easier. [25:30]
The positive side of being someone who is a distancer? [26:30]
Quick review of the 5 tips [28:00]
How this dynamic can be different in a marriage vs dating. [29:00]
Jayson’s action step for the listener [33:00]

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Smart Couple
0:03.7	K-K-K-K-K-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P. the Welcome to the Smart Couple Podcast. That's the best one. And who are you?
0:29.0	Welcome to the Smart Couple Podcasts. Podcats.
0:33.0	Yeah, nice.
0:34.0	And who are you?
0:35.0	Hello, I am Naver.
0:38.0	Hello, I am Lucian.
0:40.0	I am 7.5 years old.
0:42.0	I'm Jason's son. Hello, I am 7.5 years old. I'm Jason's son.
0:43.0	Hello, I am Nema. I am 5 3 3rders. He was old. I am Jason's daughter.
0:51.0	All right, greetings, gnomes, and fairies.
0:56.0	That's my son and daughter there.
1:00.0	I'm Jason Gattis.
1:01.0	I'm your host of the Smart Couple Podcast.
1:06.0	Welcome to episode 71.
1:10.0	And I'm bringing on my wife here on this episode again.
1:15.0	So stay tuned.
1:17.0	If you're just joining us, this podcast is for growth development oriented people
1:22.0	who want to have excellent relationships, particularly
1:25.4	sexy, thriving, long-term partnership, knowing that when you get that nut cracked, the rest of your relationships,
1:35.0	don't get less challenging, but your ability to face all of those challenges
1:41.0	is exponentially increased.
	...

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