SC 72 - How to Deal With The Distancer-Pursuer Dynamic (Part 2)

Relationship School Podcast

Jayson Gaddis

Relationships, Relationshippodcast, Sex, Relationshipadvice, Society & Culture, Jaysongaddispodcast, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.6 • 981 Ratings

🗓️ 5 October 2016

⏱️ 29 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Do you want more connection while your partner wants more space? One of the most common issues in a partnership is the distancer/pursuer dynamic. In the second of our two-part series, Ellen and I help the distancers understand and deal with your pursuing partner.

SHOWNOTES

What does it mean to the distancer with a pursuer partner? [7:00]
Is the pursuer really being needy when they want attention from a distancer? [10:00]
The link between a pursuer and their childhood relationship with their caregiver. [12:30]
A better way to ask for space. [15:00]
Why the pursuer can be an MVP in a long-term relationship. [19:30]
Jayson’s action step for the listener [23:00]

Transcript

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0:00.0	And I would have a little more space there for you because I know where you're going.
0:04.7	What's that?
0:05.7	And what?
0:07.7	And I need space, goddamn it. So, Hey there and welcome back to the Smart Couple Podcast episode 72. I'm your
0:36.7	host Jason Gatis and I'm here to rock it out with you around long-term
0:41.6	relationship stuff.
0:44.4	So if that's what you're interested in,
0:46.2	you've come to the right place.
0:48.6	Because we're full of really good resources
0:51.7	and practical street- level tools for you.
0:55.0	Occasionally we get a little conceptual, we go a little meta on you, a little 30,000 feet,
1:00.0	and I do my best to get my guests and myself to talk practical street-level shit that you can understand.
1:10.0	Okay. All right. This podcast is really designed to help you have an amazing long-term
1:18.2	partnership. Of course we talk about how to deal with friendships once in a while I'll do be doing a
1:25.1	podcast on how to deal with family members as we get closer to the holidays and a whole
1:30.8	lot more so I'm of the belief and experience that if you really learn how to do
1:37.4	long-term relationship well with one person which to me is the hardest kind of
1:42.0	relationship then you know how to, it qualifies you basically
1:47.2	to know how to do all the other relationships.
1:50.8	You have the capacity, skills, and you know depth and breadth to handle just about any
1:57.8	relational challenge.
2:00.9	So that's why we focus on long-term partnership here and being a smart couple.
	...

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