SC 125 - When Your Partner's Anger Triggers You

Relationship School Podcast

Jayson Gaddis

Relationships, Relationshippodcast, Sex, Relationshipadvice, Society & Culture, Jaysongaddispodcast, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.6 • 981 Ratings

🗓️ 23 May 2017

⏱️ 10 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

If your partner gets angry and it triggers you, listen to this one. There are a couple of basic things you can do to support each other.

QUESTION

From Kristen in Philadelphia:

Just want to thank you for everything you’ve done with the podcast - it’s had a tremendous impact on my life.
I wanted to ask you a question about healthy expressions of frustration and conflict.
I have a partnership with someone I really love and sometimes, in conflict when he’s extremely frustrated, he tends to pound a pillow or grunt or do some physical manifestation of his frustration. He tends to be more of a fighter - I’m more like freeze/flight. I have a history of physical and sexual abuse. I’ve done a lot of work with it, with EMDR and stuff like that, but still, when he does that in conflict, I find it super triggering, I get really afraid.
I talked to him about that and asked him if he could refrain from doing it around me and he was responsive, but I’m wondering if that’s healthy and something I should adapt to and allow for or if it is fair or reasonable for me to not want him to do it? Any of your thoughts would be super helpful, thanks!

What is a healthy expression of anger? [3:00]
A powerful technique for handling things when you're triggered [7:00]
How to deal with root-cause of anger long-term [8:00]

Transcript

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0:00.0	So, What's up? Jason Gatis here. Welcome back to the Smart Couple podcast.
0:24.0	Psych to be here with you on this Ask Me Anything episode. And man, I just finished the
0:30.1	relationship school, live weekend, graduation weekend after nine months of all of us
0:36.0	getting schooled on relationships and me personally going through a tremendous transformational
0:41.8	process leading this thing and man I just had so
0:46.2	much fun and got challenged so hard and grew a ton. So thanks to all you relationship schoolers out there and smart couple
0:56.7	listeners. It's so feels so good to be doing what I love to do in my life.
1:04.0	It really, really does.
1:06.0	And this notion of relationship is a path
1:10.0	and using relationships to grow and to become who we are is to me where it's at.
1:15.0	And I appreciate the listenership and the kind of people you are
1:20.0	that you take this stuff seriously because you see the magic.
1:22.0	There's some magic, there's a lot of pain.
1:24.7	And when you start to turn that pain
1:27.0	into an opportunity to heal and to grow
1:30.0	and to learn about yourself,
1:31.5	that's where the magic happens.
1:35.0	Okay, this episode's an ask me anything,
1:36.7	so it's a little shorter,
1:37.7	and we're gonna dive right in.
1:39.4	I believe this question is from Kristen.
1:42.4	So let's do it. Here we go.
	...

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