SC 121 - Is Marriage Forever?

Relationship School Podcast

Jayson Gaddis

Relationships, Relationshippodcast, Sex, Relationshipadvice, Society & Culture, Jaysongaddispodcast, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.6 • 981 Ratings

🗓️ 8 May 2017

⏱️ 15 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

What are the pros and cons of looking at marriage as forever? And how can you personally engage in one of the biggest commitments of your life without falling into someone else's programming, but also without hedging your bets and thinking you always have an out? Find out in this week's episode.

Question from Heather - Hawaii

"Can you please clarify on why we shouldn’t be striving to stay in a marriage forever?

Backstory: I just finished listening to your latest episode about the point of marriage and it really triggered me. Here is why…you do all these amazing podcasts talking about long term relationship and how to make it better and grow not only as an individual but as a couple.. why wouldn’t you want that for the rest of your life? What is the point of trying to sustain a long term relationship when your goal is 10 years or maybe 20 and then you reevaluate… It seems to me that means giving up. Why wouldn’t you strive for forever or 50 years? If you have a partner that is willing to grow and change with you the entire time why wouldn’t that be your goal. Why would you ever put into the universe otherwise. Why would we work so hard at having a great long term relationship only to have in the back of our minds this isn’t forever. That seems like a bit of a fear of commitment still because in your mind you already have an out. To me that would be a great challenge to sustain a great relationship for 50 years. It would be work yes for sure but well worth it. I am not talking about staying just to say you made it that far I am of course talking about being truly fulfilled for that entire time and always growing to be your best selves."

SHOWNOTES

Should we be all-in forever? [1:00]
When moving on is a good thing [7:00]
How being overzealous about your commitments can backfire [8:00]
The difference between being ‘all-in’ and being locked-in [11:00]

Transcript

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0:00.0	So, Welcome to the Smart Couple Show, Wednesday mornings. 10 a.m. Mountain Time.
0:27.0	What in the hell is going on everybody?
0:30.0	How are you? What's the word? This show is about living a good life by having a good relationship.
0:39.8	Life is harder when you have a shitty or challenging relationship that doesn't let up.
0:46.8	You're supposed to have relationship challenges, but when you don't learn how to figure those challenges
0:51.7	out and see them as opportunities, you're going to suffer a lot.
0:56.5	So here at the Smart Couple, we are all about transforming your challenges into opportunities.
1:03.7	To me it's the winning play in partnership.
1:08.6	Okay?
1:10.6	It blows my mind that people don't play it this way and then they complain and whine about
1:17.0	how their partner's not doing it right or whatever.
1:21.0	So we're trying to educate you.
1:25.0	And that's why I developed the relationship school to help you out,
1:30.0	to help you learn.
1:31.0	We need this. We need this education because it helps us live a more
1:37.3	fulfilling life. Wouldn't you agree? Life is more fulfilling when we educate ourselves
1:42.1	and learn how to do something that we suck at or that we feel
1:45.3	insecure around, we start to get a handle on things and we wrestle with it and then we start
1:51.2	to gain some confidence.
1:53.2	And that self-confidence is attractive.
1:56.7	Sexy.
1:58.0	People like that.
	...

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