SC 115 - How To Ask Your Partner For More Sex

Relationship School Podcast

Jayson Gaddis

Relationships, Relationshippodcast, Sex, Relationshipadvice, Society & Culture, Jaysongaddispodcast, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.6 • 981 Ratings

🗓️ 17 April 2017

⏱️ 10 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Is your sex drive different than your partner? This can lead to a lot of challenges. Unless, you keep things simple, lead with vulnerability and speak your needs. Listen here for more.

QUESTION:

Hi Jayson, this is Lillian, New Orleans. I’m reaching out to you today because I notice I’m having a really hard time asking for sex from my wife. We have a history of having kind of a wide libido gap and in recent years that’s smoothed out - we’re more compatible there now than we’ve been before - but I find myself in situations where if we’re away from each other for a long time, like say her work schedule is too loaded or something, I end up feeling kind of estranged from her and there’s some part of me that feels like connecting physically and even sexually would be grounding for me in some way. I don’t know if that’s a thing, but I do know that even if that’s not a thing, I’m concerned about my inability to ask. I’m wondering if you have anything to say about it?
Thankyou for your hard work, thanks Jayson.

SHOWNOTES

If you’re scared to ask your partner for sex [2:00]
How ‘leading with vulnerability’ can help open the dialogue [4:00]
Why some couples go years without sex [7:00]

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	So, Hi and welcome to the Smart Cou couple show here on Wednesday mornings at 10 a.m.
0:25.6	Mountain time and today we got a question about sex and one partner really having a hard time asking for sex. So this is going to be important, I think.
0:40.0	So I'm going to play you the question, so hopefully you can hear this, depending on what format you're using right now.
0:45.0	It's a voice question, so let's tune into this.
0:50.0	Hi Jason, this is Lily in New Orleans. I'm reaching out to you today because I notice I'm having a really hard time
0:57.8	asking for sex from my wife and
1:16.1	We have a history of having kind of a wide libido gap. And in recent years, that's smoothed out. We're more compatible there now that we've been before but I find myself in situations where if we're away from each other for a long time like say her work schedule is too loaded or something, I end up feeling
1:26.6	kind of estranged from her and there's some part of me that feels like connecting physically and even
1:32.4	sexually would be grounding for me in some way.
1:36.2	And I don't know if that's, you know, a thing, but I do know that even if that's not a thing I'm concerned about my inability to ask.
1:49.0	So I'm wondering if you have anything to say about that.
1:54.0	Thank you for all your hard work.
1:57.0	You know, a lot of us would be lost without you.
2:00.0	Thanks, Jason.
2:02.0	Okay, Lily.
2:03.0	Good one.
2:04.0	So what's she asking here?
2:05.0	There's a number of talking points here, but the main question is, she's scared to ask
2:11.9	her partner for sex.
2:14.4	And she's kind of avoiding it, right?
2:20.5	So, and there's, you said, I, we used to have mismatched sex drives, right?
2:30.4	Her, our libido's were off, and's really common one of you has a higher sex
	...

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