SC 114 - How to Feel More Connected - Ellen & Jayson

Relationship School Podcast

Jayson Gaddis

Relationships, Relationshippodcast, Sex, Relationshipadvice, Society & Culture, Jaysongaddispodcast, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.6 • 981 Ratings

🗓️ 12 April 2017

⏱️ 40 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Mandy - Smart Couple Facebook Page

Feeling connected. First of all, can we explore the meaning of that in depth? To me it's hard to define and hard to ask for and hard to get though my partner really tries. It's a feeling I get that my partner and I are connected. lol. Not helping. We're connected when we're both open to one another, present, affectionate, compassionate. Is it too much or unrealistic to want the goal to be in that heart centered connected space "all" the time? Not literally all the time but you know, like a majority. I could get that feeling from a 2 minute interaction everyday I think. That doesn't seem unrealistic but please tell me if it is. Seems like for a lot of couples men get connected through sex and women can feel connected through sex but prefer to feel connected before being sexually intimate. That's me. Why is that? How to handle when neither is getting what they need? Sex or heart connection. How can I go about being down for sex without a heart connection. How could a man move toward being more heart connected without sex? How do I explain my need to someone who this is all brand new to?

SHOWNOTES

Is it unrealistic to want to feel connected all the time? [6:00]
When life stress gets in the way of your connection at home [11:00]
Why ‘islands’ need more connection than you might think [18:00]
Learning how to reconnect after you lose connection [21:00]
What you can learn from sports teams and musicians about connection[27:00]

Transcript

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0:00.0	So, Hi and welcome back to the Smart Couple Podcast episode 114. If you're new
0:30.2	this podcast is all about long-term partnership and how to do that well.
0:36.8	If you're returning, you know the deal, you know the drill, and you're going to learn something
0:40.6	here. I was just with my family in backpacking in
0:47.4	Canyonlands National Park in Utah. It was really amazing by the way. I highly recommend that and man we had a really intense
0:56.6	first couple of days of the trip because I got triggered and was in some state and took my amazing wife to help me figure out what was going on.
1:11.2	And what was cool about it is we got to it and we found our way. And then we had many days in
1:19.2	nature together as a family and nature for me is a place I feel
1:27.0	deeply connected to
1:28.0	and so we as a family spent a lot of time in nature
1:32.0	and this particular trip was no exception and what's interesting here is in this episode we're going to talk, my wife and I are going to talk about connection. What the hell is
1:44.2	connection? How do you maintain it? What's the difference between how men
1:49.1	connect versus how women connect? We just explore some of these and we just jam about it. And this is a
1:56.4	conversation that Ellen and I have on a regular basis and we just decided to take a
2:02.2	listener's question and kind of riff off it and
2:04.6	talk about it.
2:06.2	So my time in the Utah Desert was deeply connective.
2:09.3	Okay, that's the bottom line here is it got me back and my wife got me back and I got me back
2:16.4	through all the ways in which I know how to come back when I'm really triggered by
2:21.0	something right especially something that I'm kind of by something, right?
2:22.6	Especially something that I'm kind of oblivious to or unconscious of,
2:25.4	some new issue or some weird thing that kind of hit me
	...

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