SC 113 - Shame in Your Relationship
Relationship School Podcast
Jayson Gaddis
4.6 • 981 Ratings
🗓️ 10 April 2017
⏱️ 18 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
QUESTIONS:
- I was listening to Episode 12 with Dr Keith Witt and was really intrigued about the role that shame plays in conflict and in relationship. Specifically in parenting as well as in long term partnership. I would love to hear more of your thoughts on that.
- Boyfriend and I are on a break at this moment. The anger I have from my ex is so bad… shame and blame a lot, how can I handle this situation for the future?
- Boyfriend has some serious issues with his family and whenever an issue arises he disconnects and becomes distant. I try to be patient and understanding but it does become hurtful. How do I handle this the best way?
- What do I do when my husband gives his friend’s wife more attention than he does me?
- I recently lost my 20 year relationship with my best friend as I called her out & shamed her in a loving way regarding the things she said about a new love. Her response to this was “I threw things back in her face.” She then ghosted me for 6 months until I confronted her. Turns out she can’t see, call or text me anymore. Would you say this is her out of integrity with herself and therefore blocked me and wants nothing to do with me?
- My fiancé and I are in the midst of a 3-day fight. Should we keep working through it or take a break?
SHOWNOTES
- The difference between guilt and shame [5:00]
- Seeing shame as your ally [6:00]
- When it’s ok to shame, and when it’s not [8:00]
- Understanding how our emotions are giving us feedback [13:00]
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | So, All right, so this one's about shame. |
| 0:24.0 | Anyone want to know about shame? Shame. Shame. |
| 0:25.0 | What's up, Cecilia? |
| 0:30.0 | Shame. Anyone feel shame in their life? Anybody? |
| 0:37.0 | All right, now shame is, shame is, um, a good one to talk about, okay? Because a big one so I just want to play this question here from |
| 0:48.0 | Sarah I believe |
| 0:50.4 | Okay, so listen up if you can I'll turn my volume all the way up. |
| 0:55.0 | Hi, Jason, this is Sarah. I'm in Goldene, Colorado. |
| 1:00.0 | And I have a question about shame. I was listening to the podcast, I believe it was episode |
| 1:08.0 | well with Dr Keith Witt and was just really intrigued by the part about shame and the role that |
| 1:18.5 | shame plays in conflict and in relationship and specifically in parenting as well as in long-term |
| 1:30.1 | partnership. So we just love to hear more of your thoughts on that and kind of pick your brain about it. Thanks so much. |
| 1:38.0 | Okay, thanks, Sarah. Cool. I love talking about shame. |
| 1:42.0 | Shame. Thank talking about shame. Shame. |
| 1:44.2 | Thank you, shame. |
| 1:46.2 | So she's asking, she listened to episode 12 |
| 1:49.2 | with Dr Keith Witt. |
| 1:50.1 | You want to go listen to that, |
| 1:51.0 | if you're not familiar with that episode it's jammed |
| 1:53.6 | full of good stuff. Keith talks really fast and so you want to listen to that at |
| 1:59.1 | normal speed and it's just really good. |
| 2:02.5 | And if you're like integral theory, |
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