SC 104 - How To Deal With An Avoidant Partner & Interpersonal Stress

Relationship School Podcast

Jayson Gaddis

Relationships, Relationshippodcast, Sex, Relationshipadvice, Society & Culture, Jaysongaddispodcast, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.6 • 981 Ratings

🗓️ 8 March 2017

⏱️ 63 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Stan Tatkin returns and serves up another awesome dose of relationship advice through the lens of adult attachment. From how relationships impact your health, to helping your triggered or upset partner, to dealing with an avoidant partner, we cover a lot of ground as Stan answers 8 or so questions from you, the listener. This one is full of helpful tips to improve and enhance your connection over time.

Why is the country feeling so much anxiety? [1:00]
The effect that your ‘allostatic load’ has on your life [3:00]
What chronic relationship stress can do to your health [5:00]
How to not take things personally [8:00]
Learning to ‘lead with relief’ to create a safer space for each other [12:00]
A great way to handle your partner getting triggered [14:00]
Why Carl Jung didn’t like taking patients under 35 [18:00]
A rough guide to dealing with avoidant-types/islands [21:00]
Should you force your teenager to make eye contact with you? [35:00]
The power of ‘jointly attending’ with a resistant partner [37:00]
‘Parallel play’ and its hidden dangers [39:00]
How to free up resources for higher development[42:00]

Transcript

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0:00.0	You can be you. I love even the parts of you that are a pain in the ass.
0:06.0	You know you're my pain in the ass and I love that. So, Welcome back to the Smart Couple Podcast. What's up? I'm Jason and I'm your host.
0:35.0	I'm a married guy of about almost 10 years guys, my 10 year anniversary is coming up this year
0:41.4	and together with my wife about 14. I've got two kids,
0:47.0	8 and 6 currently and I'm a hardcore family man. My life is my family and the relationship work I do all centers
1:00.3	around my family and my marriage.
1:06.0	I teach relationship stuff because I need to learn it,
1:11.0	right?
1:11.7	You've heard that, we teach what we need to learn. So this keeps me
1:16.0	very accountable, as you can imagine, in my own marriage. My wife and I just
1:21.2	had another snag recently and as per usual we blasted through it.
1:28.0	Whoo It feels good to be on the other side of that one.
1:32.0	She's such a force and she helps me grow whether I want to or not.
1:55.7	I feel very fortunate to have a partner, a willing partner who wants to use these tools and does use these tools to improve our marriage and make it stronger. And she is just a lightning bolt for me in my life and she's also like this slow earthquake that happens over time to help me
2:09.1	awaken and be more fully who I am.
2:13.0	It's extremely helpful to have a partner in crime on the path.
2:18.0	And here at the smart couple we talk about this,
2:20.0	that the deeper you go down the rabbit hole with one other person, the more of an unknown
2:27.7	adventure it really is.
2:30.9	And their job, whether you like them or not in any given moment, is to help you grow and become more of you.
2:40.0	The adventure is just endless with another human being and I just came across an excellent quote recently that I want to share with you.
2:50.0	From Matt Mullenweig.
	...

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