SC 1 - How to Set Yourself Up for Success in Your Marriage
The Jayson Gaddis Podcast
Jayson Gaddis
4.7 • 999 Ratings
🗓️ 6 May 2015
⏱️ 18 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
THE SMART COUPLE PODCAST SERIES
The Smart Couple Podcast: A trail blazing relationship podcast promoting unconventional monogamy and marriage–where we teach you how to fight well, master communication, and take your marriage to the next level without compromising your business, family, or integrity.
This podcast will become the VERY best relationship resource for growth and success oriented smart people who want to have extraordinary marriages and relationships.
We will explore you doing whatever it takes (including some very unconventional approaches) to achieve an awesome, and deeply fulfilling long-term relationship.
Your host, Jayson Gaddis brings over a decade in the trenches with couples, families and individuals and most importantly his unceasing and relentless commitment to examining himself as the ultimate lab rat to master relationship and intimacy. He is successfully married (for now) to a brilliant wife and has two cosmic kids who continue to school him about love. Jayson was a formerly jammed up guy who, for six months, when he first entered personal therapy, couldn’t answer the simple question of “How are you feeling right now?”
In this inaugural podcast, you will learn:
- The proper view and context for a successful marriage
- How to learn and grow from your marriage and relationship challenges (because there’s no way to avoid them)
- REAL advice with intelligent resources, NOT exaggerated or fantasized solutions
- Relationship Failure—What it is and why couples get stuck, stagnant, complacent, and afraid
- How to become a smart couple where you both WIN.
- Why relationships don’t work and how to get one to work over time
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The Hey, all right. Welcome to the Smart Couple Podcast. I'm your host Jason Gattis. We're going to be exploring the deepest, darkest, most painful |
| 0:27.0 | and most blissful and of course joyful terrain of marriage and long-term partnership. |
| 0:35.0 | I'm going to give you an ongoing barrage of relationship hacks, tools, and tricks to help you have a successful |
| 0:42.0 | strong marriage well after the honeymoon period is over. |
| 0:47.6 | Okay, but wait, before we begin, here's a quick personal story because I like personal stories and it's important that you know |
| 0:59.0 | just a glimpse of my experience in relationship. I was that guy who loved the chase. I never thought I'd |
| 1:08.6 | get married, nor have kids. I swore up and down. I would never be married or have kids. I swore up and down. I would never be married or have kids. I was like no |
| 1:15.4 | fucking way. And I said to that publicly to a lot of people. I was convinced. The chase was too much fun for me, right? |
| 1:25.7 | But then as soon as I would like hook the girl, the fun would fade. Eventually, I'd hit the same old spot. She'd want more, I'd want less, and we'd start struggling a little bit. And because I wanted a fantasy and I wanted it to just feel good all the time I'd make her wrong |
| 1:46.1 | essentially and start finding faults with her and judging her quietly in my |
| 1:50.9 | mind and I would find a way out and hurt yet another great woman and |
| 2:00.2 | missed out of course I would miss out on another great opportunity. |
| 2:07.0 | Life is like this though, right? We turn our back sometimes on the challenges. That's what I did. I would turn away from |
| 2:16.7 | stuff when it got hard because I was uncomfortable. And I didn't have any tools. I didn't have any self-awareness or very little, and I just had what I had growing up, right? That's just what I used. That's what I deployed. |
| 2:31.0 | When things got tough, I ran away. That was my style. Some people fight and |
| 2:38.8 | escalate. That might be you. I ran away. But after my seventh failure and seventh running away, I hit a wall and I said, |
| 2:49.3 | all right, no more. I was done. I broke up with this woman in the parking lot had wild oats, another |
| 2:59.8 | great woman and I had that sinking terrible feeling you know where you're trying to soften the blow and not hurt someone's feelings |
| 3:07.3 | And I was getting pretty good at this but it was still terrible and felt awful and there was no way around it. But I would kind of try |
| 3:16.7 | to hint at it for weeks and months leading up and she kind of knew it was coming, right? But she didn't |
| 3:22.0 | have the empowerment to leave me and put up with, you know, not put up with me anymore. |
| 3:26.2 | She was kind of insecure and wanted to be with me. She was willing to hang in with a guy like me, |
... |
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