Savage Lovecast Episode 975

Savage Lovecast

Dan Savage

Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Sexuality, Relationships

4.7 • 6.3K Ratings

🗓️ 8 July 2025

⏱️ 51 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

A queer woman has a non-binary, AFAB spouse. Her partner can mime the action of cunnilingus with their tongue, flicking and teasing across the dinner table, like a horny lizard. The caller wishes she could do the same, but her tongue just doesn't work that way. She also gets low marks on her oral technique, and couldn't play the clarinet very well in school. Does she just have a bad tongue? Are there exercises she could do? A 52 year-old straight man was welcomed into a new friend group through his girlfriend. The group has a charismatic "queen bee" leader. When he started seeing a 20 year-old woman, and told the queen bee about it, he was summarily ejected from the group. Now no one will talk to him. What did he do to deserve this? On the Magnum, a woman sometimes cries when she has an orgasm. It feels fine to her, and she's had no sexual abuse in her past. But her friends insist she must have repressed trauma. Dan brings on Jena Martin, host and creator of the Memory Hole Podcast, a series that looks back at the recovered memory movement and how false memories are still commonly accepted. Are memories "etched into our physiology?" Well, no actually. And, a 40 year-old woman came out as queer and pan one year ago. But she has never dated women, and her experience with women is limited to some hazy, drunken college nights. Now, she wants to try women again, but finds them too soft and tender. What she really likes, is when the dude she's seeing rails her. So is she even queer? [email protected] 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 20% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now. Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of pillows, shapes and furniture for new exciting sex. Go to Liberator.com/Savage or type “Savage” into the search bar for private VIP access to deals that are too good to announce on this podcast! Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From breaking up to barebacking, cuckolding to cunnilingus and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage is a cultural force for sex positivity, and you damn well know it.

Transcript

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0:00.0	You're listening to the Savage Lovecast, Dan Savage's Sex and Relationship Show for grownups.
0:05.1	If you're under 18, get out of here, young and...
0:08.0	If you're stuck in a relationship quandary,
0:12.4	or if you're looking for sexual harmony,
0:18.1	while there's nothing you can't ask on the Savage Lovecast.
0:26.6	You guys, and it was mostly guys, it was just a joke.
0:32.0	Over the weekend, I posted or I reposted, I can't claim credit for it,
0:35.9	what I thought was a really funny meme.
0:39.2	A lot of comedy.
0:40.2	A lot of jokes do what they call flipping the script.
0:44.2	Sometimes we laugh because a joke played with our expectations or assumptions by presenting
0:49.4	situations that are the opposite of what is expected or normal within a particular cultural
0:53.3	context.
0:54.8	We live in a particular cultural context. We live in a particular cultural context where monogamy is the norm,
0:59.9	which is understandable as monogamy is what most people want.
1:03.9	And I'm willing to entertain the argument that it's what most people should want or even would want
1:09.8	if they were free to imagine or choose other things.
1:12.9	Monogamy.
1:14.0	Okay for some people, as Mama Rose might say, maybe even most people, but some people ain't me.
1:21.1	Anyway, the joke in the meme I posted, and I realized the jokes aren't funny if you have to
1:25.7	explain them, and here I am explaining the joke, but this joke, which I found funny and did not have to be explained to me and I wasn't the only one out there who found it funny. It took some things monogamous people say to non monogamous people all the time and flipped the script by having a non monogamous person say those things to a monogamous person. I shall now read this
1:45.3	joke into the record. So Arrow Pride wrote this. Imagine a non-monogamous person having a conversation
	...

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