You're listening to the micro version of the Savage Lovecast at savage.love.

If you're stuck in a relationship quandary, or if you're looking for sexual harmony,

while there's nothing you can't ask on the Savage Lovecast. It's been more than a week. So, yeah, feels weird to say anything about it now. I am talking,

of course, about the slap. We pre-recorded last week's show, our fake show, so I wasn't able to

weigh in on the slap right after it happened.

And you know what? That was probably a good thing. The slap happened on Sunday night. We usually

record the opening of the show on Monday morning. The show goes out first thing Tuesday. And it wasn't

until mid-afternoon Tuesday that I learned by reading Twitter that white people needed to shut up

and listen regarding the slap. For a while there,

my Twitter feed was nothing but white people who wouldn't shut up about all the shutting up they

were doing and all the shutting up that they thought other white people needed to start doing.

Which struck me as odd. Not telling white people to shut up, sometimes we definitely need to do

just that. And this may have been one of those times. But if you won't shut up. Sometimes we definitely need to do just that. And this may have been one of

those times. But if you won't shut up about all the shutting up you're doing and all the shutting

up you think other people need to start doing, then have you shut up? Seems to me that the first

step to shutting up about something is to shut up about it, to shut up by example. And I'm going to do just

that. I'm going to do that now. I am going to shut up about all the shutting up other people

weren't doing last week by shutting up myself. Basically, I'm going to stop playing three-dimensional

shutting up chest now. And instead of talking about this lap, I'm going to talk about orgies in Washington, D.C.

And the man, the GOP, would like to shut up about them.

But one last thing, one last thing I wanted to say about the Oscars,

Universe, if I could be reincarnated as Timothy Shalame's tuxedo jacket or his pants, I'd settle for being his pants too.

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