You're listening to the micro version of the Savage Lovecast, www.com.

If you're stuck in a relationship quandary, or if you're looking for sexual harmony,

while there's nothing you can't ask on the savage love cast you put the seat up to take a piss because you're a conscientious guy and you start pissing and then the seat begins to fall and it's going to pass through the stream but there's nothing you can do about it now. It's too late to sit.

It's far too late to start practicing your kegels. And reaching out to grab the seat could mean

a catastrophic loss of directional control. And at that moment, when the seat is falling, you feel

this particular kind of fatalistic, nearly existential despair. It seems like something the Germans would have a word for.

And it's how I feel whenever I turn on the news these days or open Twitter,

which I'm ashamed to say is pretty much how I get my news these days,

which is probably contributing to my feelings of despair since Twitter brings out the worst in everyone.

And man, this weekend, every time I glanced at my phone. There was news of another mass shooting, four dead, six wounded in Fresno, California,

three dead, three wounded in Santa Clarita, California, three dead at a Walmart in Duncan, Oklahoma.

And I'm ashamed to say, I shrugged. That's how we live.

The constant threat, the constant reality of gun violence, nothing we can do about it. And then on my way to work this morning, this, House investigating whether Trump lied to Mueller.

And I'm ashamed to say I had a much stronger reaction.

My head kind of exploded on the number 10 bus, actually, because of course Trump lied to Robert

Mueller. He lies to everyone about everything. It would be a miracle. It would be a sign that the

president was unwell, that he might be having a stroke, that he should be

rushed again to Walter Reed if he hadn't lied to Robert Mueller.

Fuck brain function or a heartbeat. We won't be able to declare Donald Trump legally dead until

he stops lying, until his lips stop moving and his thumbs stop twitching.

But the toilet seat falling through the stream despair of it all, of course,

is that Mueller knew Trump was lying to him and lying under oath about treason, not blowjobs,

...