Hey, this is Dan Savage, and I'm recording a Savage Love podcast for you live, live, live, at a Thanksgiving dinner party where I've had a few drinks, because you can operate a sex advice column under the influence, as I have many times in Savage Love.

So I assume you can operate a sex advice column podcast under the influence as well.

So let's get to the calls, shall we?

Hey, Dan, my name's Dan.

I'm a 29-year-old straight male, long-time reader and fan.

Here, I have a vocabulary question.

When did it become uncool or unacceptable, or is is it to use the word queer in reference to gays

the seven conversation with my gay friend the other day and used the word and he kind of stopped me

and sort of laughed nervously and anyways i was given a pretty distinct impression that

it's not something people say.

So tell me what's all about.

Thanks.

It's totally cool for you to use the word queer in reference to the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered community as a whole.

I don't think you'd call it an individual fag or dyke queer, because that's sort of a pejorative use but it's accepted

now to use it to mean all of us all of us crazy sexual minorities including some heterosexual sexual

minorities there's a lot of queer identified BDSMers out there who are straight really and you know

the gays and lesbians decided 10, 15 years ago, that we were going to

reclaim hate words, and we decided to start using queer in reference to sort of queer

pride parades, queer film festivals.

The pride parade in one year in San Francisco was called the Year of the Queer.

It has totally been reclaimed, and it's totally commonly used by gays and lesbians to refer to our community,

and you are free to use it too.

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