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It says right here in my contract, the contract I signed five years ago when we started doing the podcast, that if Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes ever broke up, I would have to talk about it.

I really have anything to say.

I usually, you know, I don't really give a flying fuck about celebrity marriages.

You know, the point, obviously, Tom Cruise is now been married and divorced three times,

and I can't get married even once, and the sanctity of marriage brigades, never have

anything to say about divorce, even though Jebus in the Bible condemns divorce very explicitly.

Jesus, who never had one goddamn thing to say about two men rubbing their dicks together, said no to divorce.

Not only did he say no to divorce, he endorsed Old Testament shit for divorcees, which is basically stoning.

Jesus is really down on divorce.

Anyway, Tom Cruise obviously not so down on divorce or divorce not so down on Tom Cruise.

Katie Holmes divorcing him.

The kid, they have some kid named Sewer or something.

The name celebrities give their children.

Sewer Apple.

Who knows what this fucking kid's name is?

That Katie Holmes barely didn't want raised in Scientology.

As if Katie Holmes was unaware that Tom Cruise was a Scientologist when she merged with him.

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