You're listening to a Stranger podcast, www.com.

If you're stuck in a relationship quandary, or if you're looking for sexual harmony,

well, there's nothing you can't ask on the lovecast I hate to be an ingrate sometimes people send me shit in the mail sometimes individuals send me little presies and that's always welcome although I don't put my address out there I take everything by a telephone and email so you know it's kind of hard for people send me shit and they go out of their way to find my address send me shit I take everything by telephone and email, so you know, it's kind of hard for people to send me shit. And they go out of their way to find my address, send me shit. I'm grateful for it. Sometimes businesses send me stuff because they want me to talk about their products on the podcast or in the column and sometimes this shit is welcome and sometimes it's not. I rarely pimp products. So the last week I did a couple weeks ago,

Pimp Slick It Up, Mal Fetish Gear,

still waiting for a gift bag from you guys.

But I got this box at work recently that really, you know,

exemplifies this pet peeve of mine.

It's a big box of purported sex toys that are really just like chocolate

frosting, vanilla powder, shit to put on people and eat off. Because we Americans, we don't

get enough chocolate in our diet generally and we need to incorporate it into sex. We don't get

enough sugar as is. We got to find new ways. I read the, read the ingredients, we've got to find new

ways to incorporate corn syrup into our diets because we're not getting enough in our soda pop and our bread

and our meat and every other goddamn thing we put in our mouth. You know what? Once a day you should

put something in your mouth that isn't covered in chocolate and jimmies. And maybe it should be a dick.

Maybe you shouldn't have to put chocolate and jimmies on a dick to put it in your mouth.

There's a time and a place for treats after sex.

If you want to have some chocolate, knock yourself out.

But during sex, I can tell you from personal experience when I was young and foolish,

experimented with Hershey's syrup back in the day. And it just ends up looking like a scat

scene gone terribly, terribly wrong. You go and look at yourself in the mirror after

messing around with that. And you'll regret the chocolate sauce, the mirror, the whole fucking thing.

And it's not necessary.

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