Saffron Surprise

improv4humans with Matt Besser

Matt Besser

Comedy

4.9 • 2.8K Ratings

🗓️ 7 September 2017

⏱️ 90 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Ben Schwartz, Brian Huskey, and Lou Wilson join Matt Besser for this week’s improv4humans! They perform scenes about a father dealing with overly sarcastic children, ice cream scam artists, and super-boners during math class. Plus, Ben confronts the entire neighborhood about picking up dog poop and partygoers share alternative historical facts. This episode is brought to you by Bombfell (www.bombfell.com/IMPROV).

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Sidney, when she was wiping her vagina after peeping the other day, she threw the
0:10.8	PP toilet paper at me very aggressively and I jumped back and I was like, Sidney,
0:18.0	patriarchy, why did you do that?
0:21.1	And then she started crying because I was so loud and she goes, there was a bee on you
0:26.1	and I was trying to kill it.
0:27.8	So that was this crazy lie that just came so quickly and from nowhere and that was a
0:37.0	whole other new level of like, whoa, you can lie now too.
0:42.0	Yeah, very dangerous, very quickly too.
0:45.5	It wasn't like a stuttering, well, there's a bee, it was just right away.
0:50.4	There was a bee on you and I was trying to kill it.
0:51.8	How do you know there wasn't a bee on you?
0:53.4	That's awful.
0:54.4	He wasn't a bee.
0:55.4	All right.
0:56.4	I don't know.
0:57.4	I trust her.
0:58.4	Yeah, I have a bee infestation.
0:59.4	I trust her.
1:01.3	Is she able to, maybe she's googling how to lie to your parents.
1:04.5	So for you to appropriate, yeah.
1:07.8	Okay, girls, as a family counselor, what you could call the mediator between you two and
1:17.3	your dad here.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Matt Besser, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Matt Besser and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.