We are Ken Jennings and John Roderick. We speak to you from our present, which we can only assume is your distant past, the turbulent time that was the early 21st century.

Fearing the great cataclysm that will surely befall our civilization, we began this monumental

reference of strange and obscure human knowledge.

These recordings represent our attempt to compile and preserve wonders and esoterica that would otherwise be lost.

So whether you're listening from an advanced civilization or have just reinvented the technology to decrypt our transmissions,

this is our legacy to you. This is our time capsule. This is the omnibus. Oh, You have accessed entry 1095 dot LK 0852.

Certificate number 35676. Safety coffins.

Bring out you dead.

Here's one.

Nymphants.

I'm not dead.

What?

Nothing, yours, you know, inputs. I'm not dead. Well, nothing ears, you know, but I'm not dead.

Unless our listeners right now are just undying fungal colonies of some kind,

then I assume mortality is one of the few constants between us and the far future.

Sure, they're constantly regenerating, right?

They don't, and they have a global consciousness.

Maybe they're just dying all the time.

I just assume, whoever they are are their lifespan may also be finite. I guess maybe not maybe they're robots.

Maybe even human beings have through the beneficence of our tech overlords

finally discovered the combination of vitamins that lets us live for it.

Mark Zuckerberg is probably listening to this in the year 4800 since he was the youngest

...